Page 58 of An Accidental Elopement

“I haven’t desired another woman, since I’ve met you,” he told her honestly. Cecilia made a face that had him add: “And I know that we have not known each other for long – or been married for long either. But I hope that you will at least let it count for something. I... there is no way for me to flash forward in time and show you that I will never betray you. Never do this for another woman.”

They gulped audibly at the same time, which had Cecilia send him a small smile. Archie was certain that he was practically beaming because of her reaction.

“And I... I truly miss being with you.” Again she pulled a face. “Not just in bed, but obviously I miss that too, because... I mean, you were there, that was by far the best...” He had been about to say something crude but realized that it did not even begin to describe it. “I think,” he muttered and suddenly could not look at her, but nevertheless had to confess this. “I think that what we did could not even compare to what I have done with others. I know that the motions are the same and the same body parts were involved, but it was not. Not the same, not at all. I have never felt closer to anyone.” He had to stop speaking; he was becoming too emotional. He could not declare his love for her by talking about them sleeping together.

He caught a motion out of the corner of his eye and turned to look at Cecilia. She was wiping away another tear and sent him a watery smile.

“Well, I have nothing to compare it to,” she jested in a hoarse voice.

Archie sent her a relieved smile and took a deep breath to be able to plow on.

“I hate how matters have turned out between us. As I was trying to say, I miss you. Just being with you. Talking to you, sleeping next to you. And again, not just because you are within easy reach if I want to...” He stopped himself from going down that path again and luckily Cecilia grinned a little. “The first night we spent together, I thought I would never fall asleep: You make these noises when you sleep and kick and turn, but now I can’t fall asleep when it’s completely quiet and I’m not waking up with bruises on my shin.”

This had Cecilia laugh properly. She placed the jewelry box beside her on the settee as she hit his shoulder playfully.

“I’m not such a restless sleeper,” she said with mock offense in her voice.

“You are,” Archie told her and grinned, relieved because she had not ended his awful apology yet. “And I miss it, horribly. And I am sorry, that I did not tell you about Lavinia. I just... our marriage was so new, and I thought I was protecting it by keeping it a secret. Not destroying it.” He sighed. “I should have asked for your advice,” he relented.

Cecilia gave him a sly smile.

“Good, because I have found a solution. We will take the child in as a ward.”

Archie looked stunned at her, two constricting feelings fighting in his chest: one warm and large that she would do that for him, for his unborn child, and one prickling uncomfortable, that it was completely impossible.

“You... We cannot. The scandal,” he managed to squeeze out.

Her smile did not waver, only broadened as she told him of her disgraced aunt, that they would pay to pretend the child was hers.

Archie had been kneeling for so long that his knees hurt when he sat back on his haunches. He made a face that had Cecilia haul him onto the settee beside her. He stared at the floor in front of him. The delicate flower pattern in a mint green on the beige carpet with the crimson lining.

“You would do that for me?” he finally asked.

“I would do it for the child,” Cecilia muttered and seemed to be studying the carpet as well. “I cannot bear that neither you nor Lavinia seem to care about it. Someone needs to, and I know that I could do it.”

Archie looked stunned at her, and she met his gaze unwavering. He felt certain that she could and even more astonishing would.

“I probably could as well. In fact, I know that I would if the child lived with us. It would not be an intangible thing hidden away somewhere. It would be...”

“A child,” Cecilia finished softly for him.

“Exactly,” Archie murmured and gripped her hands. “Thank you, Cecilia. Thank you. I don’t believe many women would have done that. You are truly remarkable.”

Cecilia sat completely motionless next to him. As if waiting for what would happen now. Archie savored her beautiful countenance for a moment longer, before turning and looking away again. Her beautiful appearance was simply the wrapping for an even more beautiful and generous soul he had learned. He gulped at what he had to say next but also knew that it needed to be said. Then decided to simply get it out and hear her opinion of it. It would not change anything to wait another five or ten seconds. It would not change her feelings for him one way or the other.

“I... I think I might be in love with you,” he managed to say and turned to look at her. He had hoped that she would simply throw herself into his arms and declare that she loved him as well, but all she asked was:

“Why?”

“Why?” Archie asked disbelievingly. “Why?” he repeated. “I just do, is that not enough?”

He had expected Cecilia to answer immediately, but she was quiet for what felt like an eternity while he waited for her response. For some reason, it had not occurred to him that she would not tell him that she was in love with him as well. Since taking an interest in women, he had fought to keep them at bay, to ensure that they did not develop feelings for him that he could not reciprocate. And now he craved that this woman did. His wife! It was laughable.

“I think I need to know your reasons why,” Cecilia then muttered, a tone of reluctance in her voice as if she would rather not demand anything from him but had to at this moment.

“You are beautiful,” Archie stated without thinking.

“You love me because of my beauty?” she asked with a pained expression on her face.