Page 23 of Falling for a Footman

“And what about your children? Do you hope they will be ugly as well?” Charlotte teased to cover that Lucy’s remark had actually stung a little.

“I’m not going to have children. I’m going to be an artist,” Lucy stated, her mouth still filled with food.

“Lucinda, manners,” their mother demanded in a stern voice.

Lucy chewed with exaggerated movements, before swallowing audibly.

“I am sorry, Mama,” she then stated, even though Charlotte could hear that she was not. She assumed that their mother was able to tell as well.

“Why can’t you have children when you’re an artist?” Charlotte asked.

She knew that being an artist was Lucy’s dream, but it was the first time that she had heard her mention that she did not want children. The thought of not having children made Charlotte’s stomach feel hard and cold.

“Because I just can’t be an artist and have children at the same time,” Lucy stated as if that was self-explanatory.

“Whyever not?” their mother queried. It was clear that she was actually curious and not simply humoring Lucy.

“Because children take up so much time and energy. And besides I would need to be married to have children and I am not even certain that I want to be married,” Lucy went on.

Charlotte looked at her mother and saw that she was fighting a smile. Charlotte felt one tug at her own lips as well. Despite Lucy’s outgoing and lively personality that could make one forget her age, there was also an adorable naiveté to her.

“Well, we’ll see. You’re only fifteen after all,” their mother allowed in a tone that almost avoided being patronizing.

“No, we won’t see, Mama. I am determined never to marry.”

Thankfully their father joined them in that moment and the conversation was led down other paths, before Lucy’s chain of thoughts escalated even further. Archie, Gregory, and Hester joined them ten minutes later and the entire family spent a couple of hours together in the drawing room.

As Charlotte climbed the stairs to her bedroom to change for dinner, she was happy that she had had a break from the constant hum of thoughts in her mind. But as she entered her room alone, she was once again reminded how paramount it was that she questioned James to have the answers that she so desperately needed.