Page 66 of Sparks Fly

I smiled through all of it.

All the while, my phone stayed zipped inside my bag, though my fingers kept reaching for it anyway. I wanted a text from Sawyer. A stupid one. A dirty one. Something that felt like mine.

Lilly’s happiness was real.

The rest felt like a performance.

Aunt Becky kept shooting narrowed looks across the room at Aunt Susan, who responded by loudly offering unsolicited advice to Lilly about the florals. I intercepted potential disasters with the calm of a peacekeeper. A hand on a shoulder. A redirect. A smile through clenched teeth.

“Let’s let Lilly enjoy the day,” I said brightly.

Aunt Susan sniffed but backed down.

Crisis managed. Again.

I felt like a mannequin. Polished, pretty, and empty. But every time I looked at Lilly, glowing as she laughed with the people who loved her, I remembered why I was there.

When lunch arrived, I sat down and barely tasted the quiche, fruit, or artisan rolls.

Then it was time for the speech.

I stood, champagne flute in hand, and tapped it gently with my dessert spoon. The room hushed. Eyes turned toward me.

“I promise to keep this short and sweet,” I began, my voice warm. “Lilly and I have been friends since we were in ballet class together at seven years old. She was always the one with the loudest laugh, the biggest heart, and the most intense dedication to glitter crafts.”

The room chuckled.

“She’s going to be the most beautiful bride,” I continued, “and Andrew is lucky. He’s getting a woman who is smart, fierce, loyal, and absolutely certain of what she wants.”

I looked at Lilly and smiled, the real kind this time.

“And what she wants is a love story she can be proud of. I think that’s something all of us should hope for.”

Applause followed, and Lilly reached for my hand as I sat down.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you, too.”

And I meant it with everything in me.

I drank champagne. I hugged her. I celebrated the future she had chosen.

But beneath all of it, something inside me was still screaming.

Not because I didn’t want Lilly’s happiness.

Because I didn’t want to keep pretending her version of happiness had to be mine.

I love my friends. But I wanted to show up as myself. I wanted to sit beside Sawyer and hold her hand. I wanted to wear the damn leather jacket in my closet and not feel like I needed to justify it.

I wanted my friends to love the real me.

I wanted a life that fit.

* * *

It was nearly five thirty by the time everyone cleared out, and I was the last to leave.