Page 47 of Retribution

But he couldn’t tell Orion that because his dismissal from the Executioner Knights was something he never spoke of. To speak of it actually made it real and, in truth, it brought his failure to reality. As long as he never spoke of it and he never thought of it, none of it had ever happened. But the truth was that it had happened. He had paid the price for falling for a woman’s charms and when he saw the same thing happening with Aidric, he simply could not be silent about it.

No matter what Orion said.

“May I make an observation?” Orion said.

The soft question broke into Gerard’s unsteady thoughts. He paused by one of the lancet windows that overlooked a small courtyard. “If I deny your request, you are going to say it anyway,” he said. “Say what you must.”

Orion was sitting in a chair, big boots on the tabletop, as he watched Gerard pace. “It seems to me that you are taking this far too seriously,” he said. “It also seems to me that you are not trusting a seasoned knight to complete his duty. You are acting as if there is something personal here.”

“Personal for what?” Gerard turned to look at him. “What could possibly be personal? I do not even know Aidric.”

“That is my point,” Orion said. “You do not know him, yet you are already condemning him to failure.”

“I am not.”

“Manny, this is not an Executioner Knight operation,” Orion said, taking his boots off the table and sitting forward. “This is not some critical operation that involves a dozen agents and five hundred soldiers. It will involve just a few men, Aidric included, and it seems to me that you should trust him to do his duty. Kings have. Why can’t you?”

“Because he is afraid I am going to fail.”

The voice came not from Gerard, but from the doorway, and they both turned to see Aidric standing there. He was looking at Gerard even though he’d answered Orion. Somehow, he’d entered the chamber and neither one of them had heard him.

But here he was, addressing something that directly concerned him.

Facing it head-on.

“Is that not what you are afraid of?” he said to Gerard. “You are afraid that I will somehow fail in this operation. You are afraid I will let myself fall into the clutches of one of the Seven Jewels of London.”

Gerard hadn’t meant for Aidric to hear him, but here they were. “I have not said anything to Orion that I have not said to you,” he said evenly. “You know my concerns.”

Aidric was trying very hard not to view Gerard as an adversary. They were in the same unit and they were supposed to get along, to trust one another, but Gerard was making that difficult.

“I know,” he said. “You have made it abundantly clear.”

Gerard could hear the irritation in Aidric’s voice and he pinched the bridge of his nose, thinking on how he could bring down the level of animosity between them. “Aidric, you told me once that Lady Cleodora intrigues you and that you feared there may be a point where you would not be strong enough to resist,” he said with some passion. “Is that true?”

“It is.”

“You also asked me to be truthful with you about anything I heard or saw or suspected,” Gerard said. “Is that not also true?”

Gerard cocked an eyebrow. “That is exactly what I am trying to do, but you do not seem to appreciate it,” he said. “Even now, you stand in front of me as if you’re ready to start a fight. I will point out that I am only doing as you asked.”

He was right. Aidric didn’t have the moral high ground to stand on at that point since he had, indeed, said all of that.

After that, it was Aidric who backed down a little.

“I suppose what I do not like is that I walk in on a conversation that was clearly about me,” he said. “You can say anything you want to me, but you do not need to say it to others. Men like Orion have worked with me for quite some time. Speaking to them about a matter between us is stirring the pot and causing trouble.”

Gerard threw up his hands. “Point taken,” he said. “It is simply that we do not know one another and I was asking for Orion’s opinion on the matter because he does, in fact, know you. I did not mean to cause trouble. I’m simply seeking answers.”

Orion, who had remained quiet thus far, looked at Aidric and nodded his head. “He speaks the truth,” he said. “He was not trying to speak ill of you, simply seeking clarification.”

Aidric believed him. “That is fair,” he said, looking at Gerard. “But from now on, you and I must speak about every concern you have or we will never learn to trust one another.”

“Agreed.”

“Then come with me,” Aidric said. “Orion, you can come also.”

He started to move with the other two knights following. “Where are we going?” Orion asked.