Page 85 of The Dearly Departed

We ended up at a pub nearby, just down the road from the funeral home. The fries weren't great, but the burgers were stellar, and the fountain drinks were somehow always free. I had never been sure, growing up, how they managed to stay open, but now, after receiving a cool twenty grand for ending Tick's life, I had to wonder what nefarious shit the owner of this place got up to if he was able to afford giving out unlimited drinks.

Was it drugs? Murder for hire?

Was he the leader of an underground sex trafficking ring?

I'd only just entered the world of illegal activity, barely grazing the tip of the iceberg, and I couldn't imagine how deep into hell a person was willing to dive to make some good, quick cash.

"Hey, earth to Bram."

My vision refocused until I no longer saw the machete somehow on the other end of my arm, sawing its way through flesh and bone. Now, there was only Shawn with his forehead crumpled with concern.

Somewhere along the way, he’d developed a pair of twin lines between his eyebrows from all the worrying he did. It made me feel bad, but it was endearing all the same. Somehow, they suited him.

"Sorry," I said, clearing my throat. "What were you saying?"

"I didn't say anything,” he replied with an incredulous chuckle, that anxious expression remaining on his face. “You were talking about the free soda and just … stopped mid-sentence."

"Oh." Fuck. Maybe I was more screwed up than I thought I was. How could I not be? "Sorry. I was just thinking about how much I'm not looking forward to reconstructing Brandon's head later. That poor guy.”

"Oh, yeah," he replied with a groan. "Can't say I envy you there. But you know, it’s a good thing we’re doing for his sister. This is important to her—to have the open casket viewing. I tried to talk her out of it, but …” He lifted a hand in a helpless shrug.

There were plenty of times where we were unable to give a grieving family what they wanted for their loved one’s funeral. I did what I could to make the dead as close to how they had looked in life as possible, but some deaths were simply too messy and disfiguring to cover up with some makeup, and it would be a disservice to everyone involved to go through with it anyway. We were always honest about our abilities, albeit gently, but sometimes, depending on the situation, we made exceptions.

Brandon’s crushed skull was one of those, after his sister wailed through the pain of her broken heart and begged us to try to put her brother back together.

“All I ask is that you try,” I’d heard Leonard say, and I’d promised that I would do what I could.

"Anyway,” I said, pushing the sight of her sodden face from my mind, “what's going on with you and Shelby? Trouble in paradise?"

Shawn dropped his eyes to the tabletop, using his fingertips to trace a knot in the wood. His face seemed to be in a permanent scowl as his jaw clenched and unclenched once, twice. Something was clearly troubling him. I wondered if this was only about his relationship … or …

Does he know?

Tension tugged at my spine as I quickly took a drink of free soda to swallow down the rise of panic.

No. I've been careful. He knows nothing.

How would he find out?

Unless he’s been following me …

No. Stop. I’m going to drive myself crazy if I keep this shit up.

I released the air from my lungs, hoping I could will my nerves to loosen up a bit. Hoping I could act normal … if I was capable of being normal again.

Was I ever normal?

"I was going to propose to her," Shawn finally admitted quietly.

I slowly lowered my glass to the table. "Wait, what?"

He nodded, but wouldn't meet my eye. "I bought a ring a few weeks ago, before … before Leonard …"

“You didn’t tell me about that,” I interrupted, nearly insulted that this was the first time I’d heard about his plans.

Shawn shrugged. “Yeah, I … I dunno. I didn’t really tell anyone, to be honest. I don’t know why. I just …” He lifted his hand to scrub a palm over his mouth and down his chin, dropping it back onto the table with a gentle thump. "I mean, I love her, right? I … I can see myself with her for the rest of my life, you know? I'm happy."

"Well, if you're happy, then, yeah, why wouldn't you get married? You guys have been together for a long time."