Page 20 of Melt His Heart

I hate how right now he knows exactly how I feel without me having to deeply explain myself. I was hoping that he didn’t understand how big a deal it was for me to divert from my usual routine. The fact that I felt like I risked something for him, and I know that might sound so dramatic, but that’s how I feel.

And it’s scaring me that he just seems to understand that maybe I don’t know how to tell him yet. It’s always mostly been me and my own thoughts, and now I feel like he’s in them.

“Come on, admit we’re at least friends now.” I roll my eyes, and I hope the bouquet is hiding my stupid blush. I just can’t resist giving in to him for whatever reason.

It almost makes me sick.

I should stop myself where am I before I even figure it out, because I’m sure Carson is just trying to be a good friend with the things he’s saying and doing.

“How about this, let me treat you to dinner.” He smirks.

“Carson, I’m not sure…” I mutter.

“Let me make it up to you, Julian, please.”

Oh, don’t look at me like that.

I feel bad; his eyes are so pleading, and I know he genuinely means everything he’s saying to me. But dinner? I’ve once again never been to dinner with a guy before, not even with a girl when I thought I was straight. But he looks like a puppy right now, and who kicks a puppy when they’re down?

I just have to get this in my head that we’re just friends and this is just a friend date. He doesn’t mean anything else by it.

“Ok,” I say, gripping the flowers and plushie a bit tight. I need something to ground me right now with the way he’s looking at me as if he just won the lottery.

“How does this weekend sound?”

“Sounds good,” I mumble.

“Alright. Good. Let’s head out then.” He ruffles my hair, and I swat his hand away, my face burning.

“I’m not getting in the car with you, idiot. I just got here.”

“I’m kidding. I’m gonna wait up for you.”

“It’s fine, Carson, you don’t have to.”

“I want to, Julian. Please.” He says, grabbing the gifts back from me, “Besides, I like watching you skate.” He says quietly and starts for the hallway.

“Stalker,” I say under my breath as if I’m not the one who was shamelessly checking his socials every night, even when he wasn’t texting me.

* * *

Carson really does come and sit in the stands to watch me skate. I thought he’d maybe go home for a bit and come back to pick me up later. But he does seem to be a man of his word, so I’m learning. I can feel him watching me intently. He’s not even checked his phone a single time the entire three hours I’ve been skating.

I feel like a peacock trying to show off for him. And I’m definitely skating the best I have since coming here. Not that I’ve been skating badly the entire time, it’s just in this session I’m excelling.

And he says I’m his lucky charm, maybe he’s mine.

Carson gives me a thumbs up and nods cutely when I make all my jumps. I give him a smile in return. As I’m gliding on the ice, I let out a laugh cause he really does look so happy to watch me.

We’re getting closer to getting a routine down for the World Championships, and it’s been quite a difficult transition for me. Probably the most difficult in my career so far. But I need something that will impress the judges, maybe even shock them a bit. So it was time we switch it up. They’ve always expected classical from me, and I wanted to see if I could pull off a different style.

Maybe something more showy.

I take in a deep breath before propelling into my last jump of the night. My skates clip the ice when I land beautifully. The sound of my coach clapping rings through the rink.

“Good job, Julian.”

“Thank you.” I smile, pushing my hair out of my eyes.