Page 101 of My Unfinished Heart

His lips twist in a smirk. “Do you feel like I took advantage of you?”

“You did lie. For months.”

He nods, conceding this. “I did. You know, Archer, it’s never been easy, the way I feel about you. I’ve never had anybody I could talk to about it. It was hard when I was twelve, but when I was seventeen it was all-consuming. I wanted you with my entire being. You would never have spent so much time with me if you knew how old I really was. You would have blown me off, and I couldn’t have handled that. You think I was wandering around in my underwear that night hoping not to run into you?”

I examine his pointed expression, trying to gauge his sincerity.

He lifts his eyebrows like it’s my turn to say something.

I don’t know what it’s supposed to be, though. I’m a little dumbfounded in the moment by the level of his confession. It’s a lot.

He sighs. “Anyway…I’m actually not pissed I lost my virginity to you. It was perfect. It was like—that night couldn’t have been more perfect, honestly.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“No. Thank you,” he says with a deferential nod my way.

“You’re welcome? Glad I could make your teenage dream come true.”

“Well, it wasn’t prom…” His words fade out.

My heart finally calms down. I relax into my chair and regard him with less desperate eyes. He’s not exactly who I thought he was. It’s a little like I’m getting to see him in his totality for the first time. He’s sexier. More cunning. Ever the more fascinating.

“Thanks for not saying that was the first mistake,” he adds.

“Well, of all the things I regret, that’s not one of them, either.”

With a giant sigh, he asks, “So what is this about? Why am I here? Did you just want to apologize?”

“No—I mean yes—I do want to apologize, but I…” Oh God. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t deserve what I’m about to ask him for. Not even a little.

“You what?” he prompts.

I just say it. “I want another chance.”

He puts a hand on his chest. “What—with me?”

“Unless—I mean—I don’t know—are you seeing anyone? Are you even…”

Jesus, I hadn’t let myself think about that up until this second, but now that I have, my gut twists. The memory of him and Connor on the porch swing. Him and West…

“Available?” he finishes for me.

I nod.

“It’s not that simple.”

“No. Of course not. I know that.”

“I’m just saying you’re Connor’s brother.”

“Right.” I try to keep my voice level, bracing for the truth I desperately don’t want to hear. Jayne’s words coming back—He will always choose Connor.

“Like it was a bad idea then, but it’s probably an even worse one now.”

“Yeah,” I say, barely a whisper.

Neither of us speaks for a long moment. I roll my lips into my mouth, biting at them, waiting for him to confirm what turns out to be in my top three worst fears.