Page 24 of The Best Christmas Choir Ever

Charlie smiled a little. Gram had always had far too much faith in her talent—maybe more than she deserved. She just didn’t want to ruin this opportunity for Glendale. Part of her also didn’t want to fall short of Julian’s expectations. Though why she cared what he thought was beyond her. This was the man who couldn’t be bothered to remember her name. She didn’t owe him anything. Not her time or her mental energy or the space in her dreams where he’d annoyingly been cropping up each night.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to properly audition for anything,” Gram mused.

“I wouldn’t say this is a proper audition.”

“Still, it’s kind of exciting. Takes me back to my youth.”

Charlie scrolled down her song list. “Speaking of things from your youth. Something from The Sound of Music could be a good option.” Gram needled her side, and Charlie chuckled. “I’m sure most of this crowd is going to go with the classics.”

“Because we have excellent taste at our age.”

“Of course. Also, you never told me if you wanted to keep the old bookshelves in the sitting room or if you wanted me to donate them.”

“That’s real wood, you know.”

“You’ve said.”

“They just don’t make furniture like they used to.”

“You’ve also said that.”

“I wonder if your parents could make room for them in their place. I’d hate to let them go.”

Charlie doubted it. After Tom passed, they’d accumulated a lot of his things. “Maybe. I’ll leave a note for them to think about it.”

“All right, I’ve decided,” Gram said. “I’ll sing ‘My Favorite Things.’”

“Good choice.” Charlie brought up the lyrics and handed her laptop to Gram so she could review them, though she doubted she needed it. Charlie had worn out Gram’s VHS copy of The Sound of Music when she was eleven. She imagined those songs were permanently etched into both their brains.

“I think this volunteer gig has been really good for you so far,” Gram noted.

Charlie gave a noncommittal grunt. Sure, there’d been a few moments when she’d actually caught herself enjoying her music room performances, but the guilt that ate at her afterward had burned raw in her chest. So they would have to agree to disagree about that. Falling for this music program and for old flames and for the world she used to share with Tom was never going to work. She would always be drowning in the memories.

“I received an email from Alicia,” Charlie said, trying to shift the subject away from Glendale.

“About a job?”

“An audition.”

“Well, that’s good,” Gram said. “That’s something.”

Charlie avoided her eye. Because even though Alicia had done exactly what Charlie had asked and sent through some potential work opportunities, she hadn’t even bothered to look at them. Each email remained in her inbox, unread.

“Anything of interest?” Gram asked.

“A few I might explore,” she lied. “Maybe I’ll look at going out for a tour audition.”

“Oh, your parents and I could fly out somewhere fun to come see you.”

Charlie swallowed hard. She felt guilty for performing. She felt bad for not performing. She didn’t know what the right answer was anymore. Goose bumps prickled on her arms, and she willed away the sensation. She just needed to lock it all away until she was finished with Gram and Glendale and Elm Springs. Hold it together until she didn’t have to walk into this building anymore, stare Julian in the face and have to fend off a tidal wave of memories from before.

From a time brimming with things she’d carved out of her life in Tom’s absence.

“I should probably get down to the music room and prepare before everyone starts showing up.”

“I’ll see you down there in a bit,” Gram said. “I think I’ll pop upstairs and run through the song a couple times.”

“Sounds good.”