Page 43 of She Who Holds My Wrath

“I’m not going anywhere,” I whisper, though I don’t know if he even hears me. I keep the phone pressed tight to my ear, listening to him breathe, grounding myself in the sound.

“I’m coming!” He hangs up without saying another word, and I let the phone fall to the floor with a clatter. I curl my knees to my chest and sob, feeling like the worst person in the world. I should have come back sooner. I should have made Aran bring me here.

“Daisy, it’s not safe to stay much longer,” Aran murmurs.

I don’t reply to him, though. I just stay sat in that exact position until I hear frantic knocking from the other side of my apartment door. My head flies up, tears still flowing freely.

“I got it,” Aran says, walking over and looking through the tiny peep hole before unlocking it.

Ezra flies through, frantically looking around my apartment as I push to my feet. His eyes meet with Aran’s first, and without a single ounce of hesitation, he punches him square in the jaw.

“EZRA!” I yell, rushing over to them.

“FUCK YOU!” he yells at Aran. “I begged you. I begged you to take me back after you pushed me through that fucking portal. I begged you, and you told me you’d come back very soon with her. You didn’t. You didn’t fucking come back. You piece of shit.” He hits Aran again and again, but Aran just stands there, taking each blow, despite the blood pouring from his nose. “You just closed it. You just closed it and never opened one again.”

“Ezra, stop!” I scream, shoving myself between them. “Please. Stop. It’s not his fault.”

“I’ll leave you to it,” Aran mutters, wiping the blood from his nose with a handkerchief from his pocket. I watch him with worry as he strolls into my bedroom and closes the door behind him.

I turn back to Ezra and without another word, he lunges, pulling me into his arms. “I’m sorry. He just… he just promised me that he would bring you to me. It’s been almost a month, Daze. With no word. Nothing. I’ve been sick with worry. I…” he swallows hard, his voice breaking. “I thought you were dead.”

I wrap my arms around him and bury my head into his chest, his frantic heartbeat thundering in my ear. “It’s okay. I’m okay. I’m sorry.”

We stand silently, holding onto each other, as if fearing if we let go, one of us might vanish. I sway on my feet a little, still exhausted from the coma, and gesture to the sofa. Ezra nods, following, but never fully letting go of me as we plop down together, our limbs instantly tangling together. I finally look at him, really look at him, and my heart cracks. His eyes are sunken, his hair’s pulled back into a greasy knot. He looks thinner, smaller somehow. Not a trace of glitter to be seen, and he’s even in all black. My vibrant, sparkly, rainbow best friend has vanished, leaving behind a morbid, broken human in his place.

“Ezra. You look⁠—”

“Like shit. I know.” He huffs a laugh.

“I’m so sorry. This… this is all my fault.” Like word vomit, everything just starts spewing out. “I should’ve never have said yes to marrying Korithax. I should never have agreed to becoming immortal. I should have never let you and Talia come to Hell. Everything that has happened has been because of me. All of it.”

“No, don’t you dare. That demon makes you so happy. Happier than I’ve ever seen!” He grips my hands tightly. “Don’t you dare apologise for choosing you for once, Daisy.” He pauses, looking at me in sudden confusion. “Wait, why didn’t Korithax bring you here?”

The lump in my throat is back, bigger than ever. I feel my lip tremble as I look at him, and I don’t even have to say it. He can read it in my eyes. I anxiously chew my lower lip as he desperately searches my eyes for any other answer than the one that’s so obvious.

“No,” he whispers on an exhale. “Daisy, no.”

I nod, barely holding myself together. “They killed him, Ez. They even took his body from me,” I choke out.

“Fuck. Daisy, fuck. I’m so fucking sorry.” He pulls me into a tight hug, wrapping one arm around me as he uses his other hand to cradle my head. “I’m not surprised you’ve not been able to come back. I am so fucking selfish, just thinking about myself. I’m so sorry.”

I pull back from him and shake my head. “No, you’re not selfish. I should’ve come back sooner. It’s just… everything is on me now, Ez.” I blow out a long breath, pulling the blanket that’s draped over the sofa into my lap so I can fidget with it. “I’m the ruler of Zeriavoss. I’m leading a war. The Six plan on trying to take the entire universe. And I have to be the one to try and stop them.” Saying it out loud makes everything sound so utterly insane. I literally sound like I’m living in some weird fantasy series as the main character that can’t catch a fucking break.

I tell him everything—my training, my responsibilities, the stolen magic. Every detail I can force myself to relive, I tell him. He sits silently, listening, fear and worry etched into his face. Part of me feels selfish for unloading all of this onto him, but it feels good to get it out. To finally be able to release some of this pressure that’s endlessly crushing my ribs.

“They’ve taken so fucking much, Daze. Talia. Korithax. Marta. Theodus. Fuck. How are you still standing?”

I huff a laugh, shaking my head at him. “Honestly? I have no fucking idea.”

“And you’re swearing an awful lot. Damn girl, you’re really a whole new bitch.” He smirks. It feels good to see a little light returning to his eyes. Gods, I’ve missed him so much it makes my chest ache just looking at him.

“You dropped out of college?” I blurt out.

“Don’t give me that look. It was horrible, Daze. I tried. I really did. But everybody kept asking me so many questions. People still think Talia is just missing, and they think you ran away with her. I can’t tell people that I watched my best friend get killed by some celestial assholes in Hell. I’d be sectioned.” Despite the situation, I snort.

He throws his head back, trying to blink away the fresh tears pooling in his eyes. “It’s been so hard. And I feel like such an ass saying that, because you’re going through so much worse. But, I’ve barely kept myself going. The only thing that kept me alive, was hoping you’d come back.”

He looks at me, and all the pain and exhaustion in his eyes almost shatters me as guilt wraps itself around my heart again. All my fault. All my fault. All my fault.