Page 29 of Hot As Ice

“But she needs to know I’m leaving.”

“Text her from the car. And don’t worry, my friend will take care of her.”

Stevie huffs but obeys me the rest of the way to my car. Good girl. I could really get used to her following my orders.

ten

stevie

I’M NOT GONNA make rent this month.

The amount in my bank account is laughable. I’m going to need to empty it all out to pay rent and it still won’t be enough. I don’t dare look at my credit card balance. I won’t even be able to make the minimum on that.

I want to cry.

I’ve been donating plasma to try and make ends meet. The whole process takes about an hour and doesn’t really hurt except when they put the needle in. You don’t feel weak or lightheaded afterwards because they only take your plasma and give you back your red blood cells. Plus, you’re helping immune-compromised people. It’s a good thing to do, even though I’m only doing it for the money.

None of the places I’ve applied to for work have gotten back to me and I feel completely hopeless. Becca has been so supportive, but I don’t want to rely on her kindness. I have no idea if she’ll be able to cover the difference in rent. I hate to even ask her, but I only have a week until rent’s due. I have to figure something out.

I could probably ask my mom for a loan, except it makes me feel like such a failure to still be relying on her. Why can’t I make it on my own? I’m a full-fledged adult. I’ve worked since I was 14 years old. I should be able to take care of myself.

With a sigh, I log out of my bank app and put my phone away.

I’m so frustrated by my financial circumstances I just want to scream and scream and scream. There doesn’t seem to be any hope. Jobs are hard to come by. Everything costs an arm and a leg. Rent goes up every year. I feel trapped by it all. Like I’m treading water, and there’s only so long you can tread water before you tire…and drown.

I’m sitting all alone at The Roast, at a table by the window. My English textbook is open on the table, my notebook next to it. I’m supposed to be studying, but all I can think about is how much money I don’t have. The jewelry I make and sell online is my passion, but marketing it on social media lately hasn’t been successful, and I don’t have the money for ads. My crystal, handmade pieces are trendy right now, but if I can’t make them reach the right audience, it just doesn’t matter.

Everything sucks and my mood is in the toilet.

I’m looking out the window and brooding when someone stops by my table. I look up to see Melanie. “Hey!” she says. “Mind if I sit here? There’s no other tables.”

“Oh my god, of course I don’t mind.” I move my stuff back into my backpack. It’s not like I was going to start studying anyway.

“I hope I’m not bothering you,” she says as she sits down.

“Not at all.”

“How have you been?” She takes a sip of her latte. I didn’t even buy myself a coffee because of all my money anxiety. I can’t keep adding to my credit card balance.

“Pretty good,” I lie. “How about you?”

She shrugs. “Can’t complain. I might even have a new boyfriend. I’ve been on three dates with this guy from my Intro to Psychology class and things are going pretty good.”

I sit up straighter in my seat. “I love that for you.”

“Thanks. I love it for me too.” She giggles.

“What’s he like?” I ask. “Tell me everything.” Some gossip will get my mind off how broke I am. Mel’s always been fun to talk to. She was forever telling me crazy stories back when we worked together at the diner. I haven’t thought about those days in what feels like ages, even though it’s only been a few weeks since the incident with Joe. Time seems to have flown by since then.

“He’s great,” Mel gushes. “A total gentleman, but also fun and easy to talk to. We text each other all day long. And he hasn’t even tried to kiss me yet.”

I nod, thinking back to how far I’ve gotten with Hunter in just a few weeks. Heat pools in my belly at the thought of our last encounter in the men’s restroom at Madness. That club is aptly named, because that had truly been madness on my part. I would’ve never, ever done that with any other man, but something about Hunter brings out a wild side I never knew I had.

It’s exciting.

“How about you?” Mel asks. “Are you dating anyone? Did you ever find Hunter Cruise and thank him like you wanted?”

I fidget in my seat and look away, hoping she doesn’t catch my discomfort. I don’t think I could call what Hunter and I are doing dating, per se. More like doing crazy things in inappropriate places.