Page 48 of Shields and Roses

"Very much so. I met the young ladies I shall not name and various other members of their family. Sir Barnaby was willing to introduce me, although he made it very clear that the eldest of them is no longer on the marriage mart. He is betrothed to her, and they are planning a wedding in May."

"I wish him joy," Darcy said quietly.

"She seems as happy as he about the betrothal. I danced with her and we talked. They are very pleasant young women, in truth, and were kind to me even when they learned I am friends with you, Darcy," Bingley smirked. "In deference to your wishes, I will say no more about them for now, beyond informing you that I also danced with one of the younger sisters and greatly enjoyed the experience. She was all grace and elegance, as well as being very skilled at the dance. I hope you will not be disgusted with me if I choose to call on her this week."

Darcy stopped peering around the room and looked directly at his friend. "Truly? You wish to call on her?"

"I do. I hope that will not cause a problem between us. I am not saying anything will come of it, but I enjoyed her company this evening and wish to know her better."

Darcy silently stared at Bingley, fighting a small battle with his old prejudices. Then he shrugged. "Far be it from me to tell you who you may or may not visit. We have been friends too long for me to even consider allowing such a thing to become a barrier we cannot cross. Enjoy your visit with Miss…?"

"Mary," Bingley said firmly. "I will be visiting with Miss Mary this very week."

Chapter 29: Hiding

In the Parkhurst's ballroom, Lizzy momentarily froze in shock as she recognized the man staring across the dance floor at her. It was Mr. Darcy!

For a few seconds, their gazes were locked on each other. Neither could move or turn away. Then another dancer stumbled into him and the spell was broken. As he turned, Lizzy quickly slipped behind a pillar where he would not be able to see her.

From there, she watched as he apologized to his partner and the other dancers before looking back to the place where she had been standing. His face fell and the sorrow was clear when he could not find her there. Lizzy felt a twinge of pity for him, not strong enough that it prompted her to step into his view again, but a definite twinge, nonetheless. Quickly, she slipped away into the crowd before she was tempted to do something rash. Taking care to stay out of sight of those on the dance floor, Lizzy made her way to where her aunt stood with her mother on the sidelines.

"Aunt Madeline," she whispered urgently, turning so she was unlikely to be recognized by anyone coming from the direction of the dance floor. "Mr. Darcy is here."

"Yes, we know," her aunt replied firmly. "His friend, Mr. Bingley, came over during the previous set and asked Sir Barnaby to provide introductions. Mr. Bingley mentioned he was here with his sisters and Mr. Darcy. He is a very genial young man."

Honoria added, "He is dancing with Jane at moment and has secured dances with Mary and Lucy. I expect he will happily dance with you as well if you give him the opportunity."

"No," Lizzy said emphatically, although her voice remained quiet. "No. I do not wish to dance with him. There is too great a chance Mr. Darcy will see me again."

Madeline shared an amused glance with her mother. "Again?" she asked. "So, he has already seen you this evening? Have you two spoken?"

Lizzy looked a little flustered. This conversation was not going at all as she had hoped. "No, we did not speak. He was dancing with someone else. He still is, in fact, but the dance will end soon. I do not wish to speak with him. I was hoping there was some way I could leave."

Madeline shook her head as she said resolutely, "No, Lizzy. We will not be leaving early. I will not allow you to run away again. This is not like you. What has happened to the girl whose courage rises with every attempt to intimidate her? What do you find so difficult about facing him?"

As if searching for divine inspiration, Lizzy looked up to the ceiling. "I…I just cannot explain it to you," she said haltingly. "I cannot even explain it to myself. I simply know I do not want to speak with him. I do want him to know I am Elizabeth Bennet."

"Hmm," said Madeline. "Well, we will not enlighten him to your name just now, nor will we tell Mr. Bingley about the case of mistaken identity unless he asks about it for some reason. I will not lie for you or ask your sisters to do so if he does ask. However, unless you are in some actual danger, I also will not spoil the evening for the other girls by leaving early. If you wish to avoid Mr. Darcy, you must do so here. Of course, I recommend you simply walk up to him, tell him who you are and get it over with."

Lizzy sighed. How could she explain that she felt like she was in danger even when she knew the truth was quite the opposite. Whenever she saw or thought of Mr. Darcy, it was like her insides twisted up. Logically, she knew he had no intention of harming her, had not intended to insult her and was apparently highly motivated to find her. She should have been flattered by his continued interest, and some part of her was. He was an attractive man who had proven to be an intelligent and interesting conversationalist when he was not repeating the opinions of Lady Catherine de Bourgh and insulting her family. It would be so easy to picture spending time with him - conversing, playing chess, walking, dancing - it could happen in truth, and all she had to do was step into his line of sight.

At the same time, she worried that his initial good opinion of her would fade the moment he learned her true name. Yes, he had apologized for his ill-chosen words, and he had written to Sir Barnaby and Mr. Tavistock retracting his comments. She had long since forgiven him, knowing much of the problem lay at Lady Catherine's feet, not his. And yet…there was always that chance, and she hated to think he might be inclined to think ill of her for nothing more than her family name. After all, Richard had once said that his cousin's good opinion once lost was lost forever.

As she heard the last notes of the dance, Lizzy knew she had to decide. Another look at Madeline and Honoria convinced her they would not budge in their decision. There was no going home until the rest of the party was ready to leave. Lizzy turned to the dance floor and saw the dancers were moving away from it. At the far side of the room, she spotted Mr. Darcy escorting Miss Parkhurst towards her father.

Could she do it? Lizzy tried to gather her courage. She took a few steps in that direction and then she turned back.

"I cannot. Not yet," she told her aunt. "I will be nearby. Perhaps later this evening I will find my courage."

"I hope so, Lizzy," Madeline said. As she walked away, Lizzy saw Madeline exchange another look with her mother, this one more concerned than amused.

~o~

The rest of the evening was something of an unpleasant blur for Lizzy. On leaving her aunt, she retreated to the retiring room set aside for the ladies. That gave her space and time to think but did nothing to boost her courage. She was still trying to steel her resolve when Mary came in looking for her.

"Aunt Madeline told me I would probably find you here. It is safe for you to come out now. Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley have left already."

"I expect you think I am being rather silly," Lizzy said sheepishly.