Page 44 of Cursing My Cheating Husband

There was a long silence as she gazed at me with an unreadable expression. It looked like she was considering it, maybe? This apology might make more headway than I thought. Callie had always been the most forgiving woman. Maybe her anger was fading, bringing her back to that part of herself.

Finally, she stood. “I appreciate your apology. And you have been good. I’ve been thinking, maybe I took too much from you in the divorce.”

That was one way to put it.

“And so I’m going to give you the convertible back.”

“Really?!?” I sounded more excited about the prospect than I would have wanted to let on. This was unexpected. I loved that car almost as much as I loved sex. That had been my first big purchase when I got my current job. My dad had always drummed into me what a piece of shit I was, how I’d never amount to anything, and the convertible had been my first “fuck you” purchase. I remembered driving it over for a visit that was all about rubbing my success in his face, and every time I’d slid behind the wheel since, I experienced the rush of the man I had become, despite my rough upbringing.

Callie knew how much that car meant to me. If she was going to give it back to me, then forgiveness really was possible. Maybe I wasn’t condemned to be a celibate loser for the rest of my life after all.

“Callie, I don’t know what to say⁠—”

She was heading for the door, and I followed.

“Oh, you don’t need to say anything yet,” she said as we exited the house. There was my baby sitting in the driveway, clean and red and polished, as beautiful as the day I bought her. Overwhelming, unexpected gratitude toward Callie surged through me. Finally, something going my way.

“I’m just going to take it for one last spin first, if you don’t mind?” she asked.

“No, no, of course not,” I assured her.

“Good.” In the second before it happened, I saw she was about to use magic again. Her eyes flooded with incandescent shimmering light as she gestured with her hands toward the convertible.

Which shot straight up into the sky, flying upward at incredible speed.

For a moment, my mind rejected what I had just seen. I was dumbstruck. This couldn’t have been real.

But it was. In ten seconds flat, the car had flown so high into the sky that it had nearly disappeared from view. If it wasn’t for the brightness of the full moon reflecting off the polished metal, I would have lost sight of it entirely.

Callie’s hand switched to a flat “halt” position, and the car’s movement stopped. It hung there, miles above the earth.

My heart was racing, watching my precious convertible suspended so precariously. I wondered for a moment if I should say something or be silent. Which path was more dangerous? “Callie, baby, please…” I began, infusing my voice with a desperate tone I hoped would placate her.

“Shut the fuck up. You know what was one of the worst things about being married to you? You give the worst apologies of anyone I have ever met. Of course, despite your constant asshole behavior, you’ve apologized so rarely that I didn’t notice the pattern till now. But the few times you’ve tried it, it’s always about you. All you want to do is make a big speech. You never want to have a conversation. You never want to actually hear from me about how I feel. You just want to drop a lot of empty words about how bad you feel—now that you’ve been caught. And if I’m really lucky, maybe you give some generic compliments about me being nice and sweet and pretty, and then you ask me for forgiveness before I’ve even said one word about myself! Before you’ve asked me a single thing! Apologies are supposed to be about the person being apologized to! As far as I can tell, you’ve never spoken one word of apology that was about anything other than your own need to escape consequences.”

Everything she was saying felt uncomfortably true, but my heart was so consumed with terror about the danger to my precious car. I didn’t know what to say or do. I just had to get her to bring the convertible back to earth safely, then we could talk about this. “You’re right, I know you’re right, I’m so sorry Callie, I don’t know why I’m like this,” I rambled frantically.

She kept talking right over me. “You think that apology was anywhere near the scale of what you’ve done to me? Years of betrayal, and you’re going to wash that away with a few hollow sentences? Are you out of your fucking mind? I cannot believe what a spineless doormat I’ve been to you for our entire relationship, if you thought an apology that pathetic and empty would work. When I told you I was giving you the car back, you actually thought you’d earned it!”

“Baby, I understand. I shouldn’t have thought that was real⁠—”

“Oh, but it is real. I am giving you the car back. Let’s get it back here right away.” And at that, she dropped her hand, the sparkling magic vanishing from her eyes.

And immediately my beautiful car, the most precious possession I’d ever owned, entered free fall.

“Callie, no!” I screamed as it plummeted down. “Please don’t do this! You know how much that car means to me!”

But she only laughed as it rocketed toward the ground. It landed with the most sickening scream of metal I’d ever heard. The car crumpled and shattered, jagged debris shooting out in all directions.

One of these sharp pieces was coming right at me. I didn’t even dodge. I was so beaten down I didn’t have reflexes anymore.

But it didn’t hit me. Instead, the debris struck a magical force field Callie conjured around the wreck. The pieces hit the glittering energy and clattered harmlessly to the ground. The magic dissipated a moment later, affording me a totally clear view of the utter destruction wrought on my beloved convertible.

As I looked at the smoking pile of smashed metal on the ground, the scene overwhelmed my ability to think. I fell to my knees, gasping for breath. I loved that car more than most parents love their children, and it had been reduced to a crushed steel pancake.

Callie dug in her pockets and pulled out the car keys. She tossed them to me, and I caught them dumbly.

“Here you go,” she said, gesturing at the ruined heap. “This is what that apology was worth.”