Page 38 of Infamous Relations

She had a few seconds to collect herself, to pat a little at her hair and smooth her skirt, before he entered the room, bowing again to her a little awkwardly.

“Miss Elizabeth.”

“Mr. Darcy.” She curtsied. He had a black ribbon bound around his sleeve already, she realised, and thought that she herself must do so as soon as possible, though her soul rebelled at showing even the slightest sign of mourning for Mr. Collins.

For an extremely awkward moment there was only silent staring between them, and then Mr. Darcy gave a great sigh, took a step forward, and said;

“My actions caused irreparable harm to come to you and those you love, and I can never apologise to you enough. You, of all people in this world, are the last one whom I would ever have wished to see suffer.”

“Your actions!” she gasped, quite startled, “why, Mr. Darcy, whatever can you mean? You cannot possibly hold yourself responsible for Mr. Collins!”

“No, but I do hold myself responsible for the letter which seems to have been the cause of his - descent, perhaps we should call it? And for the way I reacted so angrily to your accusations, which necessitated my writing the letter in the first place. Which I should not have done, it was quite inappropriate…”

Elizabeth found herself smiling, taking a small step towards him. “You take a great deal of the blame upon yourself, Mr. Darcy! I feel that I must have my share in it, for I should not have taken the letter from your hand; nor should I have acted in the unconscionably rude manner which led to your having to write it!”

He matched her smile with a tentative one of his own. “I must ask if you ever had the chance to read it?”

“I did not, I’m afraid.” Without hesitation, she gestured to a chair. “But I must assume that it contained answers to the accusations I flung so unfairly at you. Pray, will you not sit with me and tell me what you wished to say to me?”

Mr. Darcy waited only for Elizabeth to seat herself before sitting where she had indicated, placing his hands on his knees and looking at her earnestly.

“Your accusations were not entirely unfounded. I did act quite unconscionably in seeking to separate Mr. Bingley from your sister and I am deeply sorry for it. I wrote to him in an effort to make amends, which resulted in his presence here today.”

Elizabeth smiled a little sheepishly. “This may result in another problem in and of itself, I fear. It seems that I do not know Jane quite so well as I thought I did - but then, I do not think that she knew herself until after I was hurt.”

“I see,” Darcy said, realising at once what had happened. “Miss Bennet was a little more in love with the idea of being in love, than with Charles?”

“Please do not mistake me, I believe she did and still does, perhaps, care for him, but she has realised that she cannot love a man who is so willing to let others determine the course of his happiness.”

Darcy nodded with a rueful little smile. “Charles is still young, and he is definitely too much influenced by his sisters. And yes, by me,” when Elizabeth gave him an arch look. “I hope that I have learned my lesson, though, and I shall leave Charles and Miss Bennet to make their own decisions in future.”

That caused Elizabeth to bestow an even more radiant smile upon him, causing him to stare at her in wonder for a moment before recalling himself, coughing briefly into his hand and turning a little pink.

“I must now address the more serious matter of which you accused me; that of my interference in the affairs of Mr. Wickham.”

“Before you speak any further,” Elizabeth said, holding up a hand to stay him, “I must tell you that I no longer believe Mr. Wickham’s accounts of your dealings with him.”

“Why?” Darcy asked, mystified.

“Because I believe I have learned more of the kind of man you are in the past two days than I had any idea of in all our acquaintance, despite the fact that we have spoken little in those days. I have heard a good deal of your actions from others, though, enough to know you a good deal better I think; and the man I know now could not possibly have acted so.”

He gazed on her then with such adoration that she blushed, and looked at her hands shyly.

“You are quite correct,” Darcy said, when he regained his voice. “Jealousy, though, caused me to be quite severe upon you, and my hatred of George Wickham only exacerbated my reaction. The thought that he might have won your heart was so painful that I could barely comprehend it.”

“Oh, no,” Elizabeth said, startled. “Although I liked him, and he flattered and paid a good deal of attention to me, I do not believe that I ever considered him seriously as a suitor. While my mother and my youngest sisters cannot look beyond a red coat and a handsome face, I am not quite so shallow as that, I hope. Should I marry, it will be to a man of substance - in character, not necessarily in estate.”

“I am certainly aware that the size of my estate was not a consideration in your rejection of me,” Darcy said, trying to smile, though the memory of her harsh words still stung.

“You are correct in that, though I believe that I was sadly mistaken as to the substance of your character.”

For a moment of shocked disbelief he stared at her. The question was trembling on his lips again when the disastrous reality of the timing struck him. They were both in mourning, their relatives yet to be buried. He could not ask her now.

Passing his hands over his face, Darcy sucked in a slow, deep breath before exhaling and looking again at Elizabeth.

“I still wish to tell you the truths of my dealings with Mr. Wickham. I believe that he sensed my regard for you even before I was willing to acknowledge it to myself, and he might still target you or your family merely to spite me. Forewarned is forearmed, Miss Bennet, and when it comes to Mr. Wickham, I have learned my lesson in that regard. Never again will a woman I care for be left ignorant of what exactly he is capable of.”

A becoming flush spread across Elizabeth’s cheeks as he spoke plainly of his affection for her, but she met his eyes steadily. “I will be glad to hear anything you have to tell me, Mr. Darcy.”