Page 11 of The Best Of Relations

“I should be delighted, Mr Lucas,” Elizabeth said. Turning to Mr Darcy, she said, “I thank you for the dance, sir. And for your next move,” she lowered her voice, “look to the green chair near the window.”

Mr Darcy glanced in the direction she indicated, and saw her sensible friend Charlotte Lucas sitting there, conversing politely with two very much older ladies. “I thank you very much for our dance, Miss Elizabeth, and for your neighbourly advice,” he gave her a smile and a bow, walked away from the still protesting Mr Collins and asked Miss Lucas to dance with such charm that Charlotte blinked uncertainly at him several times before accepting.

Mr Collins retreated in high dudgeon from the whispering, staring crowd around him, mopping his face with his increasingly rancid handkerchief.

“Not afford a maid indeed,” he muttered to himself. “Why, I can well afford Sally to come in daily and clean the grates. And Mrs Meredith to cook my dinners.” He paused, though, thinking that Darcy might have a point. A wife would indeed add to his expenses. She would be another mouth to feed, and she would want new dresses, especially if Lady Catherine were indeed to visit her and invite them to Rosings Park to dine. It might be a good idea to have a wife who knew how to cook, at least, as then he could economise by not having to pay Mrs Meredith. A woman who could look after a few chickens, too, and perhaps milk a goat and grow vegetables…

Mr Collins was unaware that he was muttering his musings out loud. Mary Bennet, sitting behind him on a chair almost concealed by a large flower arrangement in an urn, heard every word, and her eyes widened. She turned to look at Miss Mary King, a plump, freckled redhead equally infrequently asked to dance, who was sitting beside her, and saw that Miss King’s mouth was open in a perfect O.

“Gossip is for idle minds…” Mary Bennet began, but Miss King put a hand over hers and shook her head.

“This is not gossip, Miss Mary, we have heard those words directly from the man himself! A wife who can cook, and milk goats and grow vegetables? He is looking for a kitchen-maid, not a gentlewoman! Do your parents know his situation? Because if he has misrepresented himself to them, in seeking to find a bride from your family, then it is your duty to your father and mother to tell them the truth!”

“I shall speak to my father tomorrow,” Mary murmured, looking at Mr Collins in a new light. She had previously thought that she might suit him quite well herself, but – she could not cook. And she had never scrubbed anything other than her own hands in her life.

Word of Mr Darcy’s confrontation with Mr Collins soon reached Mrs Bennet, who had a fit of nerves and was removed hastily from the room by Lady Lucas and Mrs Gardiner.

“I owe you my thanks, Mr Darcy,” Elizabeth said, when he came to ask her for the supper-dance.

“It is a pleasure to dance with you, Miss Elizabeth,” he bowed to her gallantly.

“Not for asking me to dance, Mr Darcy – oh, well, for that too, I suppose, but for rescuing me from Mr Collins. I dare to hope that you discouraged him enough that he might possibly not force me to reject him in terms which will incite his resentment.”

“I spoke nothing which was not true, Miss Elizabeth,” Darcy said seriously. “I am well aware of the value of the Hunsford living. I visit my Aunt every Easter, and to see you in such circumstances – would grieve me greatly.” Again, he thought, he was saying nothing that was not true. That seeing her as Mr Collins’ wife, knowing that that ghastly man had the right to hold Elizabeth, to make love to her, would have torn him apart, he could not say.

They proceeded through the dance speaking little, Darcy content to admire Elizabeth, her form lithe and graceful as she skipped and hopped about, and Elizabeth studying the man whom she had previously greatly disliked, but now had to acknowledge was much more than he had first appeared. Yes, he was proud; perhaps too much so, but after what Mrs Gardiner had said to him, he had admitted his sins honestly and offered her, at least, a handsome apology. It remained to be seen if his attitude to the rest of the neighbourhood would yet improve, but he had indicated to her that he felt he owed a debt of civility to her neighbours and accepted her offer of aid in paying it.

Catching a glimpse of Mr Collins, standing by himself and glaring in their direction, Elizabeth could not help but smile at Mr Darcy. He had done her a very great service there, discouraging the repulsive man. She could only hope that Mrs Bennet too would take heed and not continue to promote the match.

Mrs Bennet was at that very moment wailing to her husband, who had been brought to her in a retiring-room. Mrs Gardiner remained, but persuaded Lady Lucas and Mrs Philips to return to the ball and tell their friends that Mrs Bennet just required a few moments to compose herself.

“Oh, Mr Bennet!” Mrs Bennet wailed, “what shall become of us! Lizzy will have to scrub the floors!”

Mr Bennet looked bemused for a moment, and then said, “Do not distress yourself, my dear. I am convinced we shall get along tolerably well without any of our daughters being required to scrub the floors.”

“But Mr Collins!” Mrs Bennet began to sob loudly again.

“Sister?” Mr Bennet looked to Mrs Gardiner. “Can you shed any light on this matter for me, as I am not quite sure what has my Fanny so distressed?”

“I did not overhear the conversation,” Mrs Gardiner admitted, “but Lady Lucas told me that there was some sort of confrontation between Mr Darcy and Mr Collins, and Mr Darcy accused him of presenting himself to your family falsely, that the Hunsford living is worth little and that if he took a wife they would not be able to afford a servant to cook and clean.”

“I see,” Mr Bennet plucked his own large handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to his wife, seeing that her lace-trimmed scrap was thoroughly wet as she was, for once, genuinely crying. “Well, well, my dear. Allow me to alleviate your suffering by assuring you that none of our daughters, and most certainly not my Lizzy, will ever be scrubbing floors in the Hunsford parsonage. I had already determined to refuse Mr Collins’ suit, even if one of them should be silly enough to accept him.”

“But the entail!” Mrs Bennet sobbed. “We shall all be out in the hedgerows!”

“Mrs Bennet, if you will just cease wailing and dry your eyes, and come into supper with me, I have reason to believe that we may hear some news which may appease you a little.”

Mrs Bennet demanded that he tell her at once, but Mr Bennet refused, claiming that it was not his news to tell, and she would just have to settle herself and come into supper, or suffer hearing all about it from Lady Lucas and Mrs Phillips. The thought of having to hear yet more (possibly scandalous) gossip from her friends compelled Mrs Bennet to calm herself expeditiously, and within a few minutes she was breathing sedately and suffering Mrs Gardiner to wipe her face with a cool cloth.

“There, I hear the supper bell,” Mr Bennet had settled himself in a chair to wait and drawn a book from his pocket. “Allow me to escort the two loveliest ladies here tonight into supper.”

Both his wife and sister laughed at his nonsense, and Mrs Gardiner exclaimed “Thomas, you dreadful creature! You know very well your daughters outshine us by far!”

“Yes, but I have no chance of escorting any of them into supper, do I?” Mr Bennet smiled. “They are no doubt at this very moment surrounded by fervent young swains begging for the honour.”

“You do like to jest with us, Mr Bennet!” His wife laughed. “I am sure poor Mary will not – well I never!” They were approaching the door of the dining-room, and there right in front of them was indeed her aforementioned middle daughter, being escorted in on the arm of a tall, fair-haired gentleman in a very well-cut brown coat. “Who is that, Mr Bennet?”

“I am sure I have no idea, madam, but let us find out directly,” Mr Bennet steered the two ladies to the table where the young man was just pulling out a chair for Mary to sit down. “Well, well, daughter, are you having a good time tonight?”