Page 168 of Trailer Trash

“Sorry,” he replies, anguished.

It takes less than a second for him to jam the gun into his mouth and pull the trigger.

Ka-crack!

My ears scream. Asher folds forward, his head hanging between his knees. The wall behind him is splattered with a funnel of red. Chunks of brain tissue and tufts of black hair stick to the white plaster. A piece of flesh falls onto the backrest of the couch.

My gaze snaps to Asher. His rounded spine pulls on his shirt. The ceiling light casts onto the back of his head, clearly lighting the missing section of scalp and skull.

I blink.

Once.

Twice.

I’m not breathing. I can’t move. I can’t look away.

“Asher,” I whisper.

Silence.

I stare. I don’t know for how long. I don’t know what’s happening.

“Bro,” I say.

I finally step forward and kneel beside him. My kneecap presses onto the gun, the metal painful against a nerve. I pick up the weapon and set it on the table.

I don’t look at his head. Just his shoulder, pressing my palm against it, nudging him.

“You okay?”

I know he’s not. I know he’s...

Doctors can’t fix that.

Maybe they can.

I slip my hand under his chest and push him upright. His heavy body slumps into the cushion behind him. His eyes are open. A small amount of blood trickles from his gaping mouth.

It’s those eyes that horrify me, though. There’s nothing there. They don’t blink. They stare ahead, half-lidded and lifeless.

My throat closes. I clear it.

“Mom’s gonna... She’s gonna be mad at you,” I say, praying he replies.

Bile burns the back of my tongue.

The door opens.

“I thought I heard— Oh, my God! Oh, my God!” some woman screams.

More voices erupt in panic as people take turns peeking in and seeing the devastation.

What happened? Did you do this? Call the cops. Don’t call the cops.

I hear it all like background music, constant and meaningless. I just stare at my brother. I’ve spent my whole life beside him. The identical twin bond is practically supernatural. He’s literally half of me. That’s how we started, anyway.

How am I supposed to exist without him?