Page 78 of Her Sloth

Kissed her in a way that shatters the ground under my feet.

And now that her hands demand more, I can’t.

I can’t.

What have I done?

I pushed her beyond a line I am not able to go myself.

Now that she demands me, I can’t.

I need to walk away.

She has no fucking clue.

She doesn’t know what happened in L.A.

She doesn’t know about Hailey.

She doesn’t know about that February night where I lost everything.

I let my head fall back, fighting the tears that come. Tears that come because I want her, but can’t. Tears because I have to drive her away. Tears because I feel as horrible as I can.

She doesn’t know what Lilian told me.

She doesn’t know my sister was in love with someone else.

She doesn’t know anything.

And all I want is to run.

I want to run so far away that no one will ever find me.

Because I am going to destroy everything.

“What’s up?” she asks.

Her voice is insecure.

Because I made her be vulnerable, and backed myself into a corner with it. A corner so tight there is only fight or flight left.

My breathing fastens.

I try to regulate it, but I can’t.

I bring my head back up.

Her mascara is completely smeared. She looks so pretty with it. But pretty isn’t enough when faced with a lion that is about to strike.

I’m sorry, I tell her in my mind as I take a step back.

“I will go forward with Lilian,” I say and walk to the Mustang.

“Wait!” she shouts. “We have to talk about⁠—“

“No, we don’t. I own Whitney-Morgan, not you,” I say harshly.

Her face hardens.