Page 20 of Freddie

“Well, if I was unsure if you were seeing someone, I know my answer now,” I admit with a touch of vulnerability that I rarely like people to witness. He squeezes back.

"No one… but you,” he whispers back, his voice leaden with lust.

The air around us charges, and I want to grab his stubbled face and take his mouth in mine. I want to leap onto the bed and grind against his cock until we are both spilling. I want… fucking everything with this man. Just as I sit up on the seat on my knees, ready to lean over, my phone rings. It’s the one telling me it’s my Ma.

Fuck.

Simmons must sense it as he takes his hand out from mine and smiles a little sheepishly at me. “You'd better take that kid.” I nod, getting off the seat and grabbing my phone from my bag. The kid comment should irritate me as I am a man, but I actually squeal internally at it as a term of endearment instead.

“It’s my Ma. She’ll draw me up by the baws if I don’t answer. I’ll be back in a minute though, and we are finishing what I know we were both about to do,” I tell him with a wink as I blow him a kiss.

I push past the blue curtain and walk out the door into the ward. It’s not busy with visiting hours about to end and a shift change coming up, the hallway lies deserted so I answer the call there so that I can get back to my honey bear as soon as my Ma’s done chatting.

“Hi Ma,” I answer.

“Hello, it’s late here, but I was just checking in that your flight is still coming into Glasgow and not Edinburgh on the second?”

“Yeah, Glasgow, but I can get a taxi back to the house. It’ll be late when I arrive back. I thought I sent it all in a text to Da?”

“You did, but he bloody deleted it by accident. I don’t know how that man is so bad with technology; he’s not that ancient!”

I bite back a laugh as she goes on a rant about my Da and his other misgivings.

“I miss you all so much. I’m gutted it’s only a short time I’ll be back for.”

“Well, you work from home, Freddie, can’t you just move back for a while? Unless you’ve met a man? Oh my god, have you met a man and you haven’t told me?”

“No, Ma. There’s no man. I actually don’t know why I’m still here. You’re right, I could just come home. I miss being there so much, and I haven’t heard from Benji much and miss him like mad too.”

“Well, we support you with whatever you do, but being home would make me a very happy Mammy.”

“Oh, I know. Don’t the girls keep your motherly duties busy enough though?”

“Don’t get me started on those sisters of yours. They are all mental, Freddie, all of them!” I laugh as we say our goodbyes, and I’m still smiling as I go back to see Simmons. He’s facing the other way, book in hand. He looks so handsome, so rugged, but yet so put together at the same time. Wishing to finally kiss him again and knowing I can, I’m by his bedside in three large steps.

He looks over to me, his demeanour completely different to how it was before I left. The vibe in the room feels sketchy and nothing like the charged, sexy hospital room it was merely 10 minutes ago.

“Are you okay? Are you in pain?” He shakes his head, not meeting my eyes.

“Tired is all. Don’t you have a shift starting soon? Don’t want you to be late.”

Oookay, maybe his meds have made him out of sorts. I leave him, telling him I’ll come back tomorrow before my shift and that I’ll bring something better than fruit and gummy bears for him. He smiles at me almost sadly, and I can’t help but wonder what the hell happened in the time I left to talk to my Ma to returning and seeing him look… defeated is the only word that comes to mind.

Looking at my phone, I realise he wasn’t wrong. I’m gonna be late, so I haul arse, promising to ask him tomorrow where it went wrong.

Chapter 23

Simmons

Are you in pain?

I wish I could have answered him honestly. Overhearing him talk with his mom was sweet at first, hearing their endearments and how much his family missed him. It sounded like he had a pretty big family back in Scotland. But then he told her that he hadn’t met anyone. Anyone worth keeping him here.

What I thought over the last few days was a growing companionship that was definitely leading into something sexual again, seemed to have been just some fun for Freddie while he was here over the Christmas break volunteering. I want to believe that his actions and the way he seemed to look like he actually cared weren’t all figments of my imagination, but it seems they must have been.

I feel foolish for thinking it was going to be more. My fault for assuming that two people who seem to constantly pass each other in the night were destined for something real.

Even if he was interested in more, how could I give it to him? He wasn’t from here, and from the call with his mom, it seemed he was homesick and desperate to get back to his family. Was I just someone to help cure his winter loneliness? Why did knowing that might be true stab my chest and make me want to scream?