Page 135 of Make Me Mean It

Theo goes still, refusing to look at me and fingers tighten around his wrist.

“Look at me, Theo.”

Nothing.

Fuck.

“Please.”

His breath catches, and I see the hesitation move through him, the slight tension in his shoulders, like he’s fighting with himself over something I don’t understand. For a second I think he’s going to refuse anyway.

Then his head turns, slowly, his eyes lifting to mine. And fuck. The air leaves my lungs.

His eyes get me. Too bright. Too exposed. None of that usual cocky amusement he throws over everything, none of the smug confidence that’s been driving me insane since I met him.

Just something raw enough that I almost wish he’d looked away again before I saw it.

My grip loosens around his wrist, dread sinking heavy into my stomach.

“Did—”

My voice cracks.

I swallow and try again, my heart beating painfully against my ribs.

“Did I hurt you?”

It comes out quietly, because I don't know what I’ll do if he says yes.

Theo’s eyes snap fully to mine, widening, panic flashing across his face so quickly it catches me off guard.

“No. Not—” He breaks off, stumbling over himself in a way Theo never does. His gaze darts away again. “No.”

Relief should come, but it doesn't.

If anything, the knot in my stomach only grows, because that means this is something else. Something I can’t see, and Theo is sitting right in front of me doing everything he can to make sure I don’t.

“Then why won’t you let me touch you?”

I shift closer, already bracing myself for him to pull away again, but he doesn't. He doesn’t lean into me either though, and that feel feels worse.

Theo exhales, his shoulders sinking as he drops his gaze to his lap. His fingers twist together there, restless, picking at each other like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands when they aren’t touching me.

“I can’t—”

He stops, his face tightening, frustration flashing over it before both hands drag up over his face.

“Fuck.”

I catch his wrists before he can disappear behind them completely.

“Stop.”

I pull his hands away, holding them gently between us as I shift off the bed and drop down in front of him.

Theo looks at me then.

He doesn’t really have much choice with me kneeling between his legs, directly in his line of sight, but I’ll take it.