Page 84 of Challenge Me

Mal continued to stare at her lap. “Where’s Aiden?”

“Oh. Well, I don’t actually know anymore.” I tugged on a strand of my hair as I thought about the last time I’d seen him, before I got transferred to a new home. “You don’t seem like the type who needs me to sugarcoat things, so I’ll be brutally honest. Aiden wanted peace, which is probably what made him stick a needle in his arm.” I brushed my thumb over the inside of my elbow. “Sometimes, we’re so desperate for a break from our lives that we turn to things that are bad for us. All I can do is hope that he eventually found his way.

“As you grow up, everyone will tell you not to do drugs, but I’m going to be the first. No matter how hard life gets, you have to remember that you’re strong enough to handle it, and those damn things will only make you weak. It’s better to have it hard than to become someone that you don’t recognize. So, promise me you’ll never touch any of that.”

She dipped her head, which was good enough for me. She was only nine, but I was also nine when unholy hands reached into my world and tore it open, and nothing was ever the same.

“Aiden and I hated being touched too,” I said. She glanced at me, and I nodded slowly. “We had different reasons, but that didn’t matter. I think that was part of why we connected. Sometimes I still hate it, if it surprises me. It makes me angry, and even after practicing as long as I have, it can be hard to stop myself from reacting.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me.”

Her words caught me off guard, and I leaned forward. “Of course there’s nothing wrong with you. Why would you think that?”

“People act like it. When I talk to them.”

“Is that why you don’t talk?”

Her finger traced her lip as her eyes moved around, not focusing on anything in particular. “It’s hard.”

“Tell me how.”

“I say the wrong thing and they look at me funny.”

“Let them look at you funny. You don’t owe anyone. Not your words or anything else inside of you.”

“Too simple.”

“Yeah, I know. I learned a long time ago, though, that sometimes there’s more power in what you don’t do. If you keep the important things close to your chest, nobody can take them from you. They can take a hundred other things, but not those.” Looking up at the sky, I squinted at the sun. “I figured that out a little too late. I let the people who hurt me rule my emotions, and let me tell you, it made things a lot worse—for them, but most importantly, for me.”

“So, there’s something wrong with you too.”

In any other instance, I would have emphatically said yes. I would have turned it into a joke. But there was something in her eyes that eradicated every flippant response that was second-nature to me.

I reached forward, but I stopped short, just holding my hands there. A few seconds passed, then she leaned closer, so I gently took both sides of her neck and made sure she was looking at me, even though she didn’t meet my eyes.

“If it’s wrong to be different from other people, then I’m happy to be wrong with you, Little Valkyrie.”

“But two wrongs don’t make a right.”

I breathed a laugh, though she didn’t seem to mean it as a joke. “Who made the damn rules? You know, we’re told that Odin sacrificed himself to himself in order to gain more knowledge. Confusing, I know, but stick with me. See, he needed to learn all that he could, but he also warned against the perils of being too wise, because infinite wisdom betrays the fatalistic nature of life. If even the gods fear the road ahead, then we’re allowed a little grace in this wild world.”

She seemed to contemplate that, so I released her and folded my hands in front of me while I waited. If I’d learned anything, it was that her mind was always working, even when she appeared idle.

Without saying anything, she stood. I hurried to step in front of her when she started to walk away.

“You’ll have to communicate,” I said. “Just a smidge.”

She pointed behind me, so I turned to look over my shoulder. There was another Mustang, but to me, it looked a lot like the last one. When I returned my attention to her, she held up the little car.

“Same.”

A smile curved my lips. “Alright, but are you going to be okay?”

She shrugged, which made me frown.

“If you’re not okay, you don’t run off,” I told her. “I know that’s hard, but I can’t risk losing you. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”