Page 77 of Challenge Me

“She already hated school. She . . . struggles talking to people. She doesn’t learn the way other kids learn. Of course, pulling her out of school brought about its own rumors, but she doesn’t have to be immersed in it all now, you know?”

“But some things you can’t escape.” He nodded, and I thought about what I wanted to say. “You can’t protect your children from everything, no matter how hard you try. At the same time, you’re leaving a legacy behind for her in everything you do. She’ll remember the way she felt with you more than any specific memories. And I think she’ll know that you did your best.”

“Is that how you feel about your parents now?”

Letting out a long breath, I leaned back against the cabinet. Amir stood in front of me, basically pressed up against me.

“Mine’s complicated,” I admitted. “I only ever felt safe with my parents, yet when I think back to them now, I don’t feel safe. Though they never hurt me, when I think of them, I’m reminded of a very real pain I endured because the dead can’t protect us.”

“I don’t understand. If they didn’t hurt you, why do you feel that way?”

“Because our brains make associations. Trauma latches onto the good things, and it draws pathways between them that are cursed. Fireworks can force a soldier right back into a warzone in their mind.”

“What are your fireworks?”

My teeth ground together as I thought about how to answer. Maybe I didn’t want to respond at all, but he was watching me, searching for something inside of me that I thought I might want to give him.

“Drugs took my parents, so I abhor drugs. And sometimes when you touch me too softly, I remember how evil people are also gentle right before they become cruel.”

His nostrils flared, and I shook my head to banish the ghosts that had taken the place of my soul all those years ago.

“My point is that Mal isn’t going to be traumatized by some clickbait drama that was out of your control. What she is losing, though, are moments with you. And believe me, those are too easy to take for granted and you can never get them back, which is why I should go so that you can have her here.”

Running both of his hands through my hair, he moved in close and brushed my lips. Despite how I’d insisted that this was nothing, I couldn’t convince myself to push him away. Oli had given him the means to crack the code anyway, so what was the point?

“I’m not sending you home,” he murmured.

“But Mal—”

“Can stay. If you’re okay with that.”

“I mean, of course I am, but—”

“Then I’ll talk to Avery. If she’s comfortable letting her stay for a week, that’s what we’ll do.”

“I . . . Okay.”

A smile formed on his lips before he kissed me.

Gods above, this was spiraling into unfamiliar territory, and fast. I knew that Amir was exceedingly protective of his daughter, so I didn’t take it lightly.

This was fucking real. I couldn’t say how or why, but Amir Darya was choosing to take a real step with me. Since I was still here, letting him kiss me and wrangle the scattered pieces of my heart, I suppose I was taking a giant leap of my own. Toward what, I wasn’t quite sure yet, but I was absolutely terrified as he pulled back and headed for Avery and Mal’s room.

*****

“Can I trust you with her?” Amir garbled around his toothbrush.

“You probably should’ve asked that before you decided to let her stay. Besides, Avery’s choosing to trust me, and a mother’s intuition is an unmatched force.”

He grunted his agreement before he spit in the sink. I wrinkled my nose and went back to my phone. Oli had gotten me onto this damn Destiny: Rising mobile game, which basically turned my phone into a freaking PC. The last thing this world needed was more addictions, and since I could literally play this in bed, it qualified.

The good thing about it was that it kept my thoughts off of the coming week. I’d be watching Mal at practices, which wasn’t a big deal. Amir would be right down on the field, accessible at all times. The games gave us more distance, but Mal wasn’t one to cause any problems, according to him.

Unless she wanted to sabotage me.

Everything would be just fine.

“Why do you trust me anyway?” I asked.