Page 187 of Challenge Me

Renshu lifted a brow. “Exactly. Right now, the narrative is that you’re either a victim, complicit, or a fool. None of those help you.”

“There’s a fourth option.” They waited. “I’m in love with him.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, we’re aware of that. What you’re not going to do is run and preach it to the world.”

“I know this is hard,” Vera said.

“Hard?” I scooted my chair back and stood, smoothing down my suit jacket out of habit. With a growl, I unbuttoned it. To hell with appearances. “Hard was when I realized Clara Kessler was going to attempt to tear my life apart from the inside. It was when I accepted that I was falling for a man who didn’t understand what it meant to be loved. Hard was when they went for the jugular, attacking him in his most vulnerable places, yet he stuck around and did everything you fucking asked of him. And what good did it do?”

“Amir—”

“Hard was when he walked out on me because of all this.” I gestured harshly around the room. “This circus right here? This is exactly what he hates, exactly what he was trying to get away from, because Remi knows abuse more than he’s ever known love.” Leaning my hands on the table, I didn’t bother to hide my anger. “How dare you ask me to throw him under the bus when he spent so long fighting for me, even as it wore him right back down to that helpless, broken child that’s inside of him.”

“Maybe we should dial this back a notch,” one of the men suggested. “It’s clear this is a . . . sensitive subject.”

Vera tried to take my arm so I’d sit again, but I shook her off. “No, let me finish.”

I scanned each seat, noting how many of them lacked remorse or empathy. Remi could see that. He was an expert at it. No fucking wonder he’d fled in the night to get away from these demons.

“You know what this looks like to me? It looks like the exact same shit McKinney dealt with the last two seasons.” Silence again. “I saw the way it changed him. Maybe you didn’t care, but I did. It was all about what the public would think, how the fans would feel, how it would affect team support. He bowed for a minute, but then he stood back up and told them to go fuck themselves. And guess what? He’s still standing, a god in the league. The Braves talked a big game, but they would’ve been fools to let him go over putting his foot down for what mattered to him. So, what’s it going to be here?”

The first man who’d spoken when I walked in leaned back in his seat, looking mildly amused. “Are you giving us some sort of ultimatum?”

“I don’t know. Do I need to?”

Shawn cleared his throat. “You’re a valued part of this team, Amir. I think we can all agree on that.” Murmurs of assent went around the room. “Yes, this brand matters, but we really are trying to protect you. Both things can be true at one time. After all, there’s no brand without the players, and it’s just a fact that you’re a fan favorite in Boston.”

“The ideal situation,” Renshu chimed in, “is for you and Remi to reconcile. Now, it’s a hell of a lot more complicated after the stunt he pulled, but the fact remains that most people love the two of you together. If we’re looking for good press, it’s going to be in a reunion. The question is: What’s our most realistic outcome?”

I didn’t have an answer for that, and Renshu could see it. His lips pursed as he cast looks at the rest of his team.

“To be clear,” Vera said, “Amir’s not getting sacked, right?”

The man in the blue suit chuckled. “Not unless he somehow makes a bigger mess of this than we already have.”

“Perhaps we can get some assurances on that.”

As they talked business, I sat down again. My gaze remained on the window, and I could hardly process anything they went on about. It seemed incredibly trivial at the moment.

They wanted me to turn this back into an epic love story, as Remi had put it. I wanted that too, of course. Now, though, it felt orchestrated, just like everything else he hated.

However long it takes. That was what I’d told him. But what about what it would take? I was just as lost on that front.

Except, really, I wasn’t. But I wished that I was, because the sort of love Remi and I shared required sacrifice. And that was a terrifying concept to grab hold of.

Chapter 53

Amir

From my place in the backseat, I stared out the window. The sun was coming up, casting orange light across the freeway. Most people drove in the opposite direction toward their jobs, so my path was free and clear.

“You visiting or coming home?” the driver asked.

His accent was much like my parents’, and it brought me a sense of comfort. After this season, it would be nice to go see them. They were generally the ones who made the trip, but after the year we’d had, my family could use the change of scenery.

No doubt my parents would get on my ass for how Mal’s Farsi had lapsed, so I decided I’d have to start practicing with her again. Sometimes, I got so busy that I didn’t think about how culture could be lost if I didn’t give myself reminders of it. That was why they’d moved—to be a bit closer to home. A piece of that home was in me, and it was in Mal. If I didn’t keep it alive, it’d fade away, and that would be a tragedy.

“Visiting a friend,” I replied.