Page 183 of Challenge Me

“Nobody fights forever.”

“You’ve never seen anyone fight forever. Hell, you’ve never had anyone fight for you at all. Except me.” He gave me a cheesy smile and punched my arm lightly.

“It’s remarkable,” I admitted. “And everything that I’ve dreamed of. I wish it was enough.”

“If you fight too, maybe it is.”

I shook my head. “I just want peace, Oli.”

“Peace always has to be fought for. No matter how many times you run, that won’t change.”

“I don’t mind fighting, as long as I can win. The problem with battles is that they’re part of a bigger war. This war can’t end because it’s Amir’s life.”

“All wars end eventually.”

Yeah, that was a great point. Maybe when we were forty-five and Amir couldn’t swing a bat well enough, we could rekindle what we’d lost. I’d wait another fifteen years, but he’d no doubt move on by that point. Besides, I didn’t want some second-chance romance. Roman and Trav went a year without each other, and that seemed bad enough.

I couldn’t hold on to hope. If it was over, then it was over.

However long it takes, I’ll be here.

And therein lay the problem.

*****

There were a dozen ways I could’ve done this. The thing was, I didn’t want to choose a route that put me back in the game. One and done. That was what I needed here. I was going into this with a purpose, then I was logging off for good.

As I asked the Aesir for guidance, words bloomed on my tongue.

Let the old fire fade to coal;

Not every battle must live in your soul.

Lay down the past you can’t still claim;

New blood marks the passing of a warrior’s fame.

Starting the camera, I cleared my throat. In this lighting, I looked pretty damn good. This was how people developed social media narcissism.

“Alright, I’ll keep this short so no one can accuse me of wasting their valuable outrage time or doom-scrolling, or whatever the kids call it these days. My name is Remi Keane, and . . . yeah. The stories you’ve been hearing? They’re true. Or true enough that it doesn’t matter where the seams are.”

I ran a hand through my hair and swallowed hard.

“A lot of you have been invested in my relationship with Amir Darya. Too invested, if I’m being honest. It’s an epic love story, right? We all love a coming-out. A rags to riches, street rat to Cinderella story. But the thing is, we were only a one-night stand. That first picture of us outside of Remi’s was actually where it started.

“I know you’re probably thinking: ‘What the hell? You said love was already budding when they caught you shirtless and unzipped.’ That was a lie. I didn’t know who he was then, but once I found out, I saw an opportunity. I knew what he had to lose, so I used that. I told him about all of the cameras in my bar. And I . . . told him that I’d sell the footage to the highest bidder.”

It was difficult to keep my teeth from grinding, but I knew that people would examine my every move. Keeping my eyes on the camera, I nodded.

“That’s right. I blackmailed Amir Darya into pretending that we were dating. Why? Well, the answer is already out there. I’m a bad person. I live in my bar and sleep on a cot in my office. Without a little help, I was going to lose everything. When you come from the places I grew up, you learn to do whatever it takes, and you learn not to regret it.

“He didn’t pursue me. He didn’t rescue me. He didn’t do anything except try to keep his life from falling apart because I threatened his reputation, his pride, and the respect of his family. That’s the truth he won’t tell you, because despite everything, he’s too honorable of a person to out me.”

Unable to help myself, I looked away from the phone.

“We never loved each other. That part was just good acting. And before anyone turns this into some tragic romance, don’t. Don’t drag him through the mud anymore. And please don’t drag his family into it. He’s a good man. Too good. That’s why I’m coming clean. I’ve taken enough from him already, and all I want is to clear his name.

“So, there it is. No PR team wrote this. No one coerced me. I’m doing what I should’ve done from the start.”