Page 164 of Challenge Me

Amir: Of course I do. I wish you would’ve ridden with me to Boston.

Me: I needed the sleep.

Amir: I know. You leaving the house soon?

I took another look around the storage unit while I spun my lip ring.

Me: Yeah, I’ll see you soon. You’d better get a touchdown for me.

Amir: Hilarious.

Me: Silly me. I meant a three-pointer.

His string of emojis made me chuckle before I set the phone on the cushion beside me. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath.

“Remi, hey,” Oli said frantically. I could feel his hands on my face. He was lucky I was sensible enough to recognize him, otherwise he might end up like Evan.

Evan.

I looked over at him, lying a few feet away. It was hard to tell if he was breathing or not. If the gods had any sympathy left for me, he wouldn’t be.

I drew in a shuddering breath and brought my knees to my chest. “Oli, I can’t do this.”

“It’s okay, Rem. We can explain everything. They’ll listen to us.”

“What does it matter?”

“Don’t be like that.” When I looked at him, there was so much emotion on his face. It wasn’t just shock. It was fear.

“I’m sorry, Oli. I’m so sorry I scared you.”

Taking my hands, he stared down at the blood on them. I could see the wheels in his head turning, like he was processing.

“I’m only scared for you,” he said.

“I can’t do this.”

“Stop saying that. You’re not allowed to give up. You hear me?”

I lifted one shoulder, unable to articulate what I felt. He took my face in both hands, and I felt the blood sticking to my skin, but I didn’t care. His forehead pressed against mine, grounding me for this moment.

“Every breath is proof you still want to fight. This world isn’t done with you yet, and neither am I. So breathe. Just breathe.”

After a few deep breaths, I gripped his fingers and pulled them away from my face. I met his eyes, so pure but not untouched by this fucked up life we’d lived. The worst of it hadn’t reached him, but he still couldn’t sleep at night, just like me. He still flinched at raised voices and knew whose footsteps were in the hall as surely as he could recognize their voice.

“I’m going to leave this city,” I declared. “Somehow, I’m getting out. And I’m taking you with me, Oli.”

Of course, I couldn’t take him with me back then. Those were the words of a screwed-up kid with dreams of freedom. I’d fought for that freedom, got emancipated at sixteen by the same judge who vacated my case. But Oli was fourteen then, so I had no choice but to leave him behind.

Thankfully, the crazy kid found me two years later, intent on following in my footsteps after one of the other foster kids flipped over his bed at three in the morning. By running away, he sort of put us both in a bind, but nobody ever came looking for him, so it worked out just fine.

This time when I looked at the boxes, I smiled. The past flickered in my mind, but I didn’t let it linger. My head needed to be clear, which meant I had to follow that same advice from fourteen years ago.

Just breathe.

Chapter 45

Amir