Page 146 of Challenge Me

I curled my fingers over his forearm. “Of course not.”

Despite my words, he pushed me away. “Don’t play me for a fool.” He got to his feet, and I immediately followed. “You can use Trav’s platform to humanize yourself, but count me out.”

“It was just a thought. It’s not why we came.” When his eyes narrowed, I dropped mine to the ground. “It’s not the only reason.”

He gripped his hair at the roots as he stepped backward. “I’m tired of making appeals, Amir. Don’t you get that?”

When I tried to take his arm, he pivoted away from me. “Remi, let’s finish our ice cream.”

“I can’t do this.”

Without looking at me, he spun around. He slammed the sliding door closed, and I wanted to follow, but my legs felt weak. Instead, I sat again and brought my knees up, then hung my head between them.

“You two are idiots,” Roman said.

“We’re trying to help him,” Trav replied.

“Does this help him?”

“If we do it right, yeah. You know how this game works.”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to play.”

I leaned my cheek on my knee. “He’s burnt out, but he wants to change this image they’ve painted of him.”

“I don’t know that he does, really.”

“None of us want to defend ourselves to the press,” Trav pointed out. “It’s an unfortunate part of this life.”

“Yeah, exactly.” With a thoughtful expression, Roman opened the door. “Let me talk to him. I may understand more than you guys do.”

I had no argument, so I said nothing. When he was gone, Trav sat beside me. I wasn’t sure if it’d be weird, but I leaned my head against his shoulder.

“I’m afraid,” I whispered.

“I know you are, but take it from me. That fear is what will keep you from losing him.”

I wanted to believe him, but it was looking bleak.

“You can cry,” he offered. “I won’t judge you.”

“Thanks, but I think I’m good.”

“Whatever you say. I cried a god-awful amount while Roman and I were apart. I actually had to give myself a harsh pep talk rooted in toxic masculinity the likes of which Camp Dumont would be proud of.”

“If I need one, I’ll come straight to you.”

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go for a walk. I’ve got a place that will help those big feelings melt away.”

Even though I wanted to decline, I got to my feet. More than anyone else, Trav would know what this felt like. The same went for Roman with Remi, and I didn’t know whether that made me feel better or worse.

Chapter 39

Remi

I’ve never prayed for battle’s song,

Yet blood blooms on my skin;