Page 48 of Trust Me

He groaned. “Dude, seriously. I really want to shower.”

My throat felt tight as I nodded. Spinning around, I clutched the towel in my arms and left the bathroom. When the door closed behind me, I forced myself to draw in a breath. After dropping the towel in a basket, I grabbed my keys off the counter and took the stairs two at a time. My hands shook as I started the car, cursing myself for letting this get to me.

But it did get to me. And that was why I couldn’t be there right now.

I drove the familiar route to The Commons. I could feel every block, like I was being drawn there by some connection that had been built over years of pain and loneliness.

“Oli,” Remi said when I walked into the bar. He hadn’t opened yet, but I had a key. His brows went up as I approached him. “Whoa, something’s going on in that head. Sit.”

I climbed onto the counter, then swung my legs over to his side. Kicking them back and forth, I eyed the bottles on the wall. “I forgot to pay the internet bill.”

He breathed a laugh as he pulled the till out of the register. He passed it to me, and I started counting the bills like I’d done for him a hundred times. I was pretty sure he was just trying to get me to cave and come work for him.

“You need help with it?”

I frowned at being asked that for the second time. “No. It’s paid now.”

“Then what’s the issue?”

“Dean’s the one who pointed out that it was off.”

“Ah.” He crouched to arrange the glasses beneath the bar. “Doesn’t seem like something to be upset about. Unless he had a paper due or some shit.”

“No, he told me it’s fine.”

Remi looked up at me for a second before going back to his task. He just waited for me to speak. No need for a bunch of questions or reassurances.

“I know I’m being neurotic.” I sighed. “It kind of spiraled.”

“What happened?”

“I tried to go through all my mail. But it was, like, fifty pieces and I got overwhelmed. I was going to talk to Dean when he got home. Except he went to take a shower and I’d left some stuff in there. It clearly annoyed him when I started buzzing around.”

“Is he actually annoyed?”

I shrugged. “If he wasn’t before, he probably is now.”

“So, what you’re saying is it wasn’t a big deal, but you made it a big deal and turned it into the issue you thought it was at the start.”

“Bingo.”

He laughed, shaking his head. It reminded me that we had very different ways of dealing with our pasts. If we could split ourselves down the middle, maybe we’d find a way to balance each other out and become one fully functional human.

“You could explain it to him,” he suggested.

“He’ll think I’m crazy.”

“You’re not crazy.”

“Right. ‘Hey, Dean. You already think I’m weird, but get this. I’m gonna need you to give me a buttload of reassurance like I’m a toddler because I’m a poorly-adjusted mess of a human who can’t figure out this life thing.’ He’ll move out immediately.”

“You forgot to pay a bill. That’s a far cry from being a mess. If he knew how hard it was for you to even get where you are, he wouldn’t think twice when you have a hiccup.”

“No, he’d run for the hills.”

“Oli,” Remi sighed. “You’ve got to loosen up just a little bit.”

“I’m loosey goosey.”