Page 166 of Trust Me

“Feels criminal, but I used to fish without a license, so I’m beyond saving.”

“They’ll nail you with a hefty fine for that one.”

Oli hummed his agreement. “It was less for pleasure, more out of necessity. You’d be surprised how many people will look the other way when the circumstances are right. It sort of restored my faith in humanity a few times.”

“We want to hear what it is that got you here,” Mom said.

“Like what? I can tell you more about when I met Dean.”

“I mean you. The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it.”

His brow pinched. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Of course it is. We’d like to understand you.”

“Well, I . . .” He looked around the table, his expression more nervous than ever. “I was born in Fremont on the fifth of January, but that’s all I know about that. Temporary homes were all I knew until I got my apartment in Seattle. I’ve never had a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Uh, what else?”

Blake looked amused as he listened to Oli ramble. I watched my family take in every word he said. He probably thought they were making judgments, but I knew they were intrigued by him just like I was every day.

“You don’t know anything about your parents?” Blake asked, surprising us both.

Oli shook his head. “I’m not interested in finding out.”

“I don’t get that.”

“Blake,” I hissed.

“What?”

“It’s not important to me,” Oli said, offering me a smile. “Whatever happened, I choose to believe this was the way my life was meant to go. I don’t know if they wanted me or not. Don’t know if they were addicts or too young for a kid or even something darker. It wouldn’t change anything, and I’ve always been content with living my life for me instead of wondering about things that are long in the past.”

“Damnit.” Blake looked down at the table. “I’m sorry. For what I said before.”

“Don’t be. It doesn’t bother me, except . . . This might be overstepping again, but it’s just that seeing what you have here and watching you push it aside bothers me the most.”

Blake dropped his hands into his lap, but he didn’t bite back.

“To have a mom that shows up for you,” Oli went on. “Who sacrifices raising you, who trusts you with someone else while she has to spend all of her time in a place surrounded by tragedy. That’s love, even if you can’t quite see it like that.

“I’ve never had anything like this, so I guess I’m just making it up as I go along. I don’t have any family at all, except the people I’ve found along the way. So, I just want to say that I respect you both so much.”

He met my parents’ eyes, and I watched his begin to water beneath the dining room light.

“I’ve had very few chances to experience love,” he said after a minute. “All of this is new to me. But your family . . .” His nostrils flared, and he blinked a few times as he looked up at the ceiling. “Even in its messy parts, what you have here is so beautiful. I heard the way Dean talked about you guys, and for a second, I could see it. That’s why I did what I did. Because I knew you deserved it.”

Mom sniffled as she wiped her nose with a napkin. I wanted to say something, but I still didn’t know what.

My chest ached, making it hard to breathe. Quickly, I took the last bite of my food, then I stood up and grabbed my plate. “Excuse me.”

After dropping the plate in the sink, I walked past the table, not stopping until I reached my room. The space was small, but as I looked around, I felt like I was home in a way that I hadn’t since I left. The trophies filling the top of my dresser and the posters hanging on the walls brought me back to days spent doing homework. Staying up late waiting for my mom to get home. Waking up early so I could listen for my dad and make sure I was there to help without him thinking I was going out of my way.

Dropping to the edge of the bed, I covered my face with my hands. More than ever, I dreaded going back to Seattle, and as I sat there fighting back my tears, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was losing something with every second that passed.