Page 127 of Trust Me

“I’m glad we came.”

“Me too.” He took my hand and sat with me on the couch against the wall. “I hate how she won’t ask for help when she needs it.”

“I can tell she’s an amazing person.”

“They both are,” he agreed. His gaze went to his dad, and despite the situation, he smiled a little. “They’re my favorite people in the world.”

My chest constricted, but I pushed past the ache. “Will you tell me more about him before I meet him? About all of them.”

He leaned back, still holding my hand as he sipped his coffee. “He’s strong. Proud—too proud for his own good, really. My dad was in the military until Blake was two, stationed at Fort Hamilton, so they just stayed in New York when he got out. He’s been disabled since then, and my mom has been supporting us for as long as I can remember, aside from the shit payments he gets from the VA. We didn’t take vacations, we didn’t eat fancy food, I wore Blake’s old clothes when he grew out of them, and we got candy from the Dollar Tree before going to a movie.”

He met my eyes, and his expression softened.

“We had one Honda Civic between the four of us,” he went on, “which my mom usually had because she worked every day of the week. She missed birthdays and holidays, she couldn’t volunteer for school events, and she tried to make it to as many of my baseball and football games as she could, but it wasn’t many.”

“That must have been hard for you.”

He looked down at the floor. “I respect the hell out of my mom, but I do wish she would’ve been around more when I was younger. Me and Blake took care of my dad as much as he took care of us. I saw the sadness in her eyes sometimes, like she was seeing a version of our lives where she got to raise us instead of my dad and grandpa. She’d do anything for us. She has. So, I just want to make sure she’s not dealing with everything alone.”

“Do you regret going to Seattle?”

“Yes,” he replied immediately. The conviction in that one word was absolute.

“Why don’t you come back?”

“I’ve thought about it a lot. They always tell me that I need to make my own life, though. Carve it out with my bare hands, my dad says. He said he grew the most after he went into the military and had to adjust to new places, new people. He doesn’t want me living at home if I don’t have to, especially if it’s because I want to take care of him.”

“Sounds like Kennedys are damn stubborn. Not that I needed you to tell me.”

He nudged my shoulder with his, laughing softly. “We’re survivors. Against all odds.” Looking at me, his eyes shimmered.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I’m tired of surviving, Oli. I know it’s not fair for me to say.”

“Why wouldn’t it be fair?”

“Because I still have so much more than a lot of people. I have love. Family. The most incredible parents. I think about Linc, who lost his mom and dad in one night, all because of a goddamn deer on the road. Or you, who grew up with nobody to teach you about life. Nobody to love you. God, Oli. What right do I have to feel slighted?”

I cupped the side of his face, catching a tear with my thumb. “Sometimes, losing something is better than never having it. Sure, I never knew what a parent’s love was like, but I also never had to fear losing them. I developed a sense for other people’s pain. I learned the weight of emotional currency, and it made me want to fix what was broken in those around me. It taught me to give the love I never had. I think there’s value in that too.”

“You deserve to feel love, Oli.”

“I feel love every day. I was just forced to find it within myself first. I get to spread that to other people.”

“Is that enough?”

“For now, yeah.” My brows pulled down. “I told you; I’m not a tragedy of my circumstances. I think my life turned out the way it did so I could become the light for others.”

“Like Remi.”

I swallowed hard. “There are worse things out there than being abandoned. Some people can’t escape what they’ve survived, can’t even look at themselves in the mirror. It’s only those who love them that keep them from falling apart.”

He slipped his arm around my shoulders. “That’s really sad. Nobody should feel like that.”

“You’re right. But no more dark talk. You look tired.”

“I am.”

“Take a nap, Broku. I’ll wake you if anything happens.”

“Mm. Promise?” I leaned away from him a little, not wanting someone to walk in on us cuddling.

“I promise. Let me take care of you this time.”

“Okay, but only because I think you’re kinda neat.”

I’d never seen anything as beautiful as him, but I’d accept being called ‘kinda neat’ for now.