Page 111 of Trust Me

“I wonder what they were doing here,” I said softly, glancing at the wall. “Was it a mother alone with her child, stuck in this one-bedroom apartment with no support? Did they look out the window and dream of a better life? More importantly, did they find it? I wonder if they ever think about this memory they left behind, or if it only exists here now, isolated from everything they might have become.”

“Why does it have to be so bleak?”

“It’s not bleak. I think it’s beautiful that we leave behind all these imprints that touch souls we’ll probably never meet. It’s like we’re all connected by these invisible threads. And . . .” I dropped my gaze, feeling my chest constrict in a way I didn’t often allow it to.

“Tell me.”

“I wonder if I’ve ever touched a thread they left behind.”

“We’re not talking about this kid anymore, are we?”

I shook my head. The way he kept his grip on me, holding me tighter, not pushing me away, made my eyes burn.

“And I wonder,” I went on, “if either of them ever thought about me. If I left a mark at any point in my life, I want it to be there. But that feels selfish.”

“It’s not selfish to think about your parents, Oli.”

“I just hope . . . I hope that their lives were better for giving me up. Maybe . . .” I wrung my hands together, and he grabbed one of them, squeezing it hard. “Maybe they were too young. Or they died, but something inside of me says they’re out there.”

“Do you want to find them?”

“No,” I said immediately. “It isn’t about that. Remi believes blood has memory, which is why I did one of those DNA tests that told me where most of my ancestors came from. It was interesting, but it didn’t make me feel anything. Then I look at this wall and understand that everything has memory. We’re all stardust, and if memory survives death, maybe we’ll always return to find the people we chose in life rather than the bloodlines we came from.

“The thing is, you don’t get to choose your family,” I continued. “But I get to choose everybody in my life. And if I’m lucky, they’ll choose me too.”

“Your soul is so damn beautiful, Oli.”

Meeting his eyes, I offered him a smile. “You think so?”

“It’s obvious to anyone who looks. That’s probably why I ended up here, thinking about kissing you, as if that’s totally normal.”

“You shouldn’t have looked.”

“Can’t do shit about it now,” he murmured, leaning closer.

His lips pressed to mine, and though it was tentative, it soothed the uncertainty that had been raging through me. There was no urgency this time, and my heart didn’t even race like before. I just felt . . . safe. Secure. Like I belonged right here, right now, with Dean.

“Can we watch Attack on Titan now?” I asked against his mouth.

He dropped his face against my neck and laughed. “You piss me off.”

“Well, what’s new?”

Taking my hand, he pulled me to my feet. I kicked off my shoes and leapt onto the bed, then rolled to my back. As he approached, I found myself imagining things that were far too advanced for tonight.

Well, maybe I could have one thing.

He’d barely set his knee on the mattress when I wrapped my arms around his neck and yanked him on top of me. My tongue made a path across his skin, tasting his sweat and everything that made up this absolute god of a man. When I started to suck on the side of his neck, he gasped, and his hips ground against me. I arched up, wanting to feel exactly what I was capable of doing to him while I marked him for the first time.

He groaned, and when he thrust against me, his dick brushed mine. I bit down on the same spot on his neck, drawing out another sound that I’d never heard a man make.

Softly, I kissed the place I’d left a mark. “This makes you mine, okay?”

Gripping my hips, he turned onto his back and arched up to kiss me. “You claiming me now? Just like that?”

“Until it disappears, and then you can decide if you want to renew.”

A loud laugh escaped him. “Did you just turn yourself into a subscription model?” He trailed his fingers beneath my shirt and traced every inch of my abdomen in a way that felt reverent. “Is there an annual plan?”