Page 149 of Cowboy Daddies

Livvy’s mouth would open like a baby bird’s to accept the spoonfuls of ice cream I offered her. Between bites, I’d ask her questions and she’d answer using the notebook and box of colored pencils we’d gotten from the drugstore next door. It was slower than speaking her response, but after the first couple of exchanges, I discovered one learned a lot when answers were accompanied by drawings and curlicues in various colors. When I became aware that she was exchanging one pencil for another every time I fed her a different flavor of ice cream, it became a game with my pretending to be going for chocolate then dipping toward vanilla or strawberry. She only giggled, dropping one pencil after another before making a final decision the moment I filled the spoon with my choice.

It was not only the most entertaining conversation I’d had, her creatively illustrated responses reminded me of the drawings I’d see stuck on front of her grammie’s fridge whenever we’d run inside for a snack. It also reminded me of how I’d start watching the road the last day of school knowing she would soon arrive to spend the summer with her grandmother.

Luther and I had been entranced by the redheaded girl whose curiosity was boundless, her excitement contagious, her questions never-ending. The three of us had run around the woods, climbed up the mountain, and swung out over the river on a rope tied to a thick branch overhanging the water. Even as a kid, I remembered her screams of pure joy when she’d let go of that rope had both terrified and thrilled me.

As a rancher’s sons, Luther and I had both known about death. We’d been saddened when she’d lost her grandfather but to a boy, the man had been as ancient as the mountains. But we were completely stunned by the news of Livvy’s mother’s death. She’d been on yet another trip out of the country with her husband. Grace had been in the penthouse, but for some reason, Spencer had been on a lower floor of the hotel when the fire started and had gotten out, but she, like so many others, had perished. That was our first real encounter with how death not only tore at hearts, but changed the world as we knew it. The last time I’d seen Livvy, she’d been staring out the back window of a black car with tears rolling down her cheeks. Her father hadn’t even seen fit to come get her himself. He’d sent some driver in his stead.

All of us had expected her the next summer but June rolled into July and then August without her. The next summer passed as well and then another. As it does, time continued to pass and Luther and I grew into adults. We moved on to other adventures, but there had been many a time I’d stopped to look toward the woods when I thought I heard laughter, expecting to see a girl with red curls climbing over the fence to come visit. Then another death occurred and I’d accepted that Livvy wasn’t coming back.

“I’m so sorry about Grammie O,” I said and immediately wished I hadn’t when her mouth closed and her eyes welled. “Ahh, pixie.” I dropped the spoon back into the dish between us and picked up a napkin instead. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” She accepted the napkin and my heart hitched when she lifted it to her face then hesitated as if afraid it was going to add yet more pain. I intercepted it when she tried to drop it to the table and gently wiped her tears as she picked up a pencil and began to scribble on the pad.

When she turned the pad toward me, I read:

I didn’t know the truth about Grammie O’s death until a month ago. I would have come. I’ve wanted to come back for years…

I looked across the table, not understanding. “Why didn’t you?” I shook my head when she opened her mouth. “No, don’t move or try to talk, pixie.” I turned the pad back around after flipping to a new page and set it down. Tapping the blank sheet, I instructed, “Write.”

We continued passing the pad back and forth as she told me a far sadder story than the one I’d told her on the way into town. While mine had been ninety-nine percent fairy tale, her body language, the sudden lack of illustrations, and the occasional blurred word on the sheet caused by a fallen tear told me hers was the cold, hard truth.

“I’m so sorry, Livvy.” When she sat back and started to rub her fingers that had gripped the pencils so tightly, I reached over and when she laid her hand in mine, I took over that task, massaging her fingers gently. “Your ex sounds like a jackass, but to tell the truth, I’m rather glad to hear he was.” At her shocked look, I chuckled. “Only because his loss is my gain.” Fearing she might not agree despite what she’d written about how he’d treated her, I lifted her palm to my mouth and kissed it before continuing. “As for your father? The man doesn’t deserve that role. To rob you of your grandmother, especially after you lost your mom is unforgivable. But for him to lie and tell you your grandmother passed years ago and deny you the choice to visit once you’d grown was just plain evil. Pixie, you’ve deserved all the best your entire life and have been denied so much and still, you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. I know it doesn’t help, but I hope you know how very much Grammie O and Granpops loved you.”

Tears slid down her cheeks but these weren’t ones of physical pain. These were broken-hearted tears of a girl who first lost her grandfather, then her mother, and finally the woman who she’d loved beyond all others, Grammie O, and each tear ripped at my heart.

“Oh, pixie,” I said, and did the only thing I could. I slid out of my side of the booth and without asking, lifted her into my arms and slipped into the booth on her side. When she buried her face in my shirt, I slid into the corner and laid my legs out along the bench so she’d have them to keep her legs supported. Only then did I wrap my arms tighter around her and bend to kiss the top of her head.

“Cry it out, honey. I’ve got you.” And I did. It was at that moment that I knew the only way anyone would ever hurt this woman again would be after they climbed over my cold dead body.

I had no real idea of how long we sat there nor did I honestly care. Her tears had slowed and when hiccups had her wincing with each muscle contraction, I slid a hand to cup her neck in my palm. I softly massaged the tightened muscles with the pad of my thumb. “Shhh, you’re safe.” The thought of moving was a fleet one as she sighed deeply and snuggled closer. Within minutes, I knew she was sleeping because her entire body melted into me.

The bell tinkled above the door as people came and went, but except for a few glances and soft smiles, not a soul bothered us. They either enjoyed their cones while seated at nearby tables or took their pints of ice cream to go as ours melted into an abstract puddle of ivory, brown and pink in its silver boat.

When my phone vibrated in my pocket, I moved slowly so as not to disturb Livvy and pulled it free only to have it stop buzzing. Still, I could see that it had been Luther. My finger hovered over the screen to answer the message I knew would be appearing.

Luther:

WTH? I called Frank to add some meds for the calves, but he said you were at the ER? Said there’d been an accident!

Me:

Relax. Not me.

Luther:

Who?

I had no desire to sit and tap out the story using one finger in order not to wake Livvy. Instead, I gave him the CliffsNotes version.

Me:

Livvy.

Luther:

Livvy? Our Liv?

Me:

Y/N