Page 37 of When We Were Young

Ella holds our eye contact, and I try to match it, but fail and look down at the table. I know she’s trying to give me advice. I hear her, but what her words really do is make me sadder that she’s leaving.

Ella’s a friend now.

My brothers and I moved to Aron Falls from neighboring Meadow Creek when we built our company here nearly two years ago, and I’ve been coming here every morning since my second month in town.

She gives me a moment, then reaches across the table and grabs my free hand. She gives it a light squeeze but doesn’t let go.

“You know you never order anything different, and you always use the same mug. You always use the same pen and legal pads. Your notes⁠—”

“How do you know that?” I ask.

“I watch you, young man. I think maybe the world has you all wrong.”

“What does that mean?” I run my hand through my hair and peer back up at her. “Ella... maybe everyone else is right, and you’re the one who gives me more credit than I de⁠—”

“No, Holden, listen to me for a minute. I know that I flirt with you and tease a lot. That’s our dynamic, but it doesn’t mean I don’t see you. See, behind that front you’re always covering yourself with, I hear things. Everyone thinks you’re a playboy.”

My jaw drops open, and I’m speechless. Not because I’m shocked by what she’s saying—it’s nothing I haven’t heard before. I’m just surprised it’s made it to her.

“I can tell you don’t have a girlfriend and probably haven’t for a long time. Am I right?”

I see my opportunity to lighten the conversation.

“Only you, Els. You’re it.” I grin at her and force playfulness into my tone even though I’m downright uncomfortable.

I don’t want anyone to see me as she does. There isn’t much to see, really. Not much I’m proud of, anyway. I peer into my coffee cup.

“Holden. I’m serious.”

After a few seconds, I reluctantly lift my gaze to meet hers.

“Yeah, it’s been a while, and I’m not nearly as bad as everyone says. But let ‘em think it.”

“No one says you’re bad. It’s not bad to see what’s out there and to date a lot. Though from what I hear, your dates might not always have much emotional depth.”

Oh my God, this is embarrassing. My cheeks heat, and I’m pretty sure if I looked in a mirror, I’d find them bright red. I’m getting a lecture from Ella on relationships.

“I should probably go,” I blurt out. I don’t mean it to sound sharp, but the need to escape overcomes me.

I’m about to stand and leave when the bell on the door rings, and one of the guys who works for my brothers and me in the millwork division walks in and heads to the counter.

Ella pats my hand and tightens her grip.

“No, you don’t. Stay here while I get him set. Don’t you dare leave without giving me a chance to say goodbye.”

Before I can respond and squeeze in a rushed goodbye so I’m able to make my escape, she stands and is halfway to the counter.

My shoulders sag, and I lean against the back of the seat, resigned to being here a little longer.

I don’t want to talk about this.

It’s okay that I’m not in a relationship. Yeah, sometimes love works out as it did for Henry and Tillie. And Harrison and Delaney.

But sometimes love really screws you over. Like my brother Hayden. Love royally fucked him up.

I know the feeling.

His wife, Charlie, left him last year after more than a decade together, and it broke him. The difference between us is that he deserves a better ending to his story.