Page 32 of When We Were Young

This cannot be happening. Why didn’t I ask more questions about which fraternity he was in?

Holden.

He’s wearing gray sweatpants and an athletic T-shirt that I’m pretty sure is from high school. He lives here. There’s no question. Based on his relaxed clothes, it’s not likely he planned to be at this party. I’m betting he was upstairs studying, or trying to study, with the noise from the party ruining any chance of a quiet night.

“Liz.”

Landon turns toward me, and I hand him his beer without looking away from Holden.

My eyes remain fixed on the man standing in front of me. The man I miss terribly.

“Hey,” I say.

Before I can put any more distance between us, Landon grabs the hem of my shirt and tugs me closer. He wraps an arm around my waist and draws me in until I have to turn my body sideways against his, as if I’m the adoring girlfriend who wants to gaze up at him. He isn’t the one I want to look at.

Holden’s eyes narrow, his face pinches. “You know each other?” Landon asks.

He knows damn well that we know each other.

Neither of us responds at first, but then Landon’s fingers digging into my side let me know he expects an answer.

Holden hasn’t taken his eyes off me.

“Yeah. Holden comes to study at the library, so I know him from there,” I say, trying to keep any emotion out of my voice.

“What’s going on here?” Holden asks. He gestures between Landon and me.

“What do you mean? My girlfriend and I are getting drinks. You’re so weird, little Aron.”

My eyes are laser-focused on Holden’s face, hoping he can see through my expression, through my eyes, that I’m begging him not to say more. It will only make things worse, even though I know Landon already knows about us. If he didn’t, he never would’ve made the comments he made when he showed up unexpectedly at my place.

“Well, if that’s all, we’re gonna go back to the party,” Landon says.

Landon leads me past Holden, and I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye. I haven’t seen him in the two weeks since we broke up. I quit my job at the library, figuring space is probably best. Thankfully, Anita hired me part-time to help in her café.

We get our seats back when we return, and now, another one of Landon’s fraternity brothers is sitting nearby. They all start talking, and honestly, I don’t really care what they’re talking about. I’m distracted, wondering where Holden is and what he’s thinking.

I don’t have to wonder for long because, instead of going back to his room, he’s standing off to the side talking to a guy. His eyes never leave me the entire time I’m looking. I quickly divert my gaze, knowing that if Landon catches me, things are going to escalate.

After a while, I need a break from these guys.

“Hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and maybe get a little fresh air.” I point toward my eyes. “My allergies are acting up in here.”

Landon’s eyes pierce me. “Okay. Don’t be gone long, though. I’ll miss you.”

That little vomiting emoji immediately pops into my head.

Fitting.

He won’t miss me. He’ll probably time me, but he won’t miss me.

I rise from my seat, and before I can take my first step away, Landon grabs my waist and tugs me down.

I don’t see it coming, but when his lips meet mine, everything feels wrong.

“See you soon, babe,” he says after kissing me.

I simply nod because I’m sure if I try to talk right now, my trembling voice will raise suspicion.