Page 10 of Property of Whiskey

“It’s eight pounds and frozen solid.”

“Nine and a half. It was on sale.”

“Put it down anyway.”

She lowers it reluctantly.

I look at the stock boy. “Stop filming.”

His phone drops maybe half an inch.

“All the way, Finn Adler,” I say. Knowing all the names and faces in this town is part of the job.

“That’s my brother,” he complains but shoves it into his pocket.

Inside, fluorescent lights buzz above a crowd gathered near the frozen-food aisle. Cold air rolls from the open freezer doors, mixing with the smell of floor cleaner and whatever has leaked from an overturned display of canned beans. One shopping cart lies on its side, and a middle-aged woman in trendy athletic wear stands behind the meat counter holding a spiral ham against her chest.

“Jima Witherspoon.”

“She started it.”

“I don’t care.”

“She threw a turkey.” Jima hugs the ham tighter, as if she expects Darbee to make another run at her.

“She put down the turkey.”

“Only because you got here.”

“Put down the ham.”

“I’m gonna pay for this ham. It’s the last one and I’m not drivin’ clear out of town to make Sunday supper.”

“Then you probably don’t want me logging it into evidence.”

Jima considers that for a second, then carefully lowers it onto the counter.

“Good. Now tell me what happened without using the words heifer, hog, cow, sow, or anything else commonly found in a barn.”

“She cut in front of me.”

“I didn’t,” Darbee says from behind me.

I turn. “You weren’t invited inside.”

“You didn’t say.”

“Both of you stop.”

They immediately start talking over each other, so I raise my voice.

“Stop.”

The entire aisle goes quiet.

Somewhere near produce, a child applauds.

I separate the women, take statements, review grainy security footage from an angle apparently chosen to record everything except actual crimes, and confirm that Darbee did indeed cut in line. Jima did make a comment involving a heifer and the burgers, and the frozen turkey was thrown only after Jima waved the ham in what several witnesses describe as a threatening manner.