Page 85 of Bound Hearts

A caffeine fix will be useless but might as well. With my order taken, I stand and stare anxiously when I look out the wide window on Main Street. A mom is balancing a baby on her hip, and she smiles when a man touches her shoulder. The image of a young family has me occupied.

The barista grabs my attention. “Here’s your coffee.”

“Thanks.” I pivot only to stall because something clicks inside my head, and I have a hunch where I can find Sutton. “Which way is the river? I still don’t have my bearings.”

She looks at me like I’m an idiot. “Geez, Sutton knows how to pick 'em,” she mumbles to herself. “Sir, there is only one way to go. It’s the only main street in town that ends at… you guessed it… a river.”

“Aren’t you enlightening?” My attempt at a thank-you is filled with sarcasm.

Drinking my espresso like a shot at a frat party, I slam down the cardboard cup onto the counter.

I don’t have time to waste.

Except that my entire walk to the riverbank goes slowly. Purposely slow. My feet move with fear that I might have let something good slip away. Even with the smell of fresh herbs, I ignore the farmers’ market in the park at the end of the street. The sound of the river running fills my ears before I see the water, but I do see people up ahead along the riverside walkway. It’s perhaps one of the last weekends of the year before the leaves will begin to change.

My tracks stop when I spot my wife. Her hands rest on the railing, and she is lost in thought as she gazes out onto the water, the world moving around her.

And hopefully she believes that the world will make her spin, and I’ll be the one to steady her, even if she never falls.

“Is this the part when you’re ready to confront what you’ve done?” she says with empty emotion.

25

SUTTON

Idon’t need to turn around, I felt Foster as soon as he began to walk closer. It’s funny how we could sense familiar people even if we were blind. Then again, Foster carries power on his shoulders, and right now, guilt radiates off of him. But what weighs me down is that the moment he came close, my heart lifted with brief excitement, as though I had been waiting forever for his return. Then a stab of numbness reminded me that I slept without him last night.

“I figured you would be here.” He arrives by my side and follows my line of sight to the tree line across the river.

I wrap my arms around my body from the chilly breeze, even though it’s wonderful weather for September. Maybe it’s nerves that are causing the chill.

“I guess I forgot how Everhope can clear my mind. I’ve been so busy creating my own life, but sometimes the familiar is what we need. I used to come to the river a lot. It’s a reminder of the good times,” I explain softly.

“And did it help clear your mind?” His voice is delicate, patient, the vulnerable side of Foster that I’ve only had peeks of.

I can’t avoid it forever. I do the one thing that could devastate me, because when my eyes meet his, waiting for me, honesty becomes a tide so overpowering that we could both drown.

“One of the good things is meeting you here. Not office you, but the real you, every little thing included.”

The corner of his mouth twitches. “We did meet here. Your beautiful smile is still the same as that day in the cold with a donut in your hand.”

My eyes drop as I glance down at my belly. “A lot has changed.”

“I’m not complaining.” He steps and touches my arm, encouraging me to face him fully. “I need to know you’re okay, that we’re okay.”

A simple answer would probably help our conversation, but I’m going to take the long way.

“Foster, when your brother told me about that fucking timeline, I freaked out.”

“You had every right to.”

My mouth begins to tremble, and I hate that every thought since yesterday feels so raw. “It made me replay so many things in my head, and for a second, I thought… I would never have been in the position of making the biggest decision of my life⁠—”

“I didn’t want to put you in⁠—"

I place my palm on his chest to stop him. “Just listen. It was a complete mess in my head when I figured out I was pregnant. I doubted every reason why I should or shouldn’t have a baby. I may seem strong to everyone, but that moment was miserable.”

His nostrils flare slightly, enough for me to notice, and he seems to be choking up with fear, piercing his eyes. “Do you regret this? The baby?”