Page 26 of Loverboy

He’d just never been given enough.

The role I’d been assigned didn’t match the heat in my chest, but it was too late to crawl out of it. I was his brother, his safe space, and I loved being that for him.

Still, I craved more.

“It’s not you,” I said instead. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“You have to say that, you’re my brother.”

I leaned in. “Have I ever sugarcoated anything?”

He didn’t answer, clearly cycling through every time I’d told him exactly what I thought, regardless of how harsh it was. And no matter how offended he’d act every time, he always came to me.

“Exactly.” I grinned.

“Maybe something’s wrong with you, too.”

“Must be,” I said dryly. “Since I don’t abandon you for being a little needy.”

“A little?”

“A little. I think you could be worse.”

He frowned.

“I’d still be here, even if you were,” I added.

“What’s your deal-breaker then?” he interrogated. “Murder?”

I leaned back, pretending to consider it.

“Nope.”

“You’re a liar.” He fidgeted with his cup, inspecting it as if the buttons that might drive me away were hidden somewhere in the lid.

“Not when it comes to you,” I said with promise. “My love isn’t conditional. You know that.”

His hands stilled. Then he smiled, shy and tentative, thumbs brushing the rim of his cup as relief softened his posture.

“You’d change your mind if you knew,” he said quietly.

“Knew what?”

“How bad it gets. How bad I get,” his leg bounced beneath the table, making it shake. “You won’t think it’s normal.”

“Try me. And side note—we already know you’re not normal.”

He looked torn. I raised my eyebrows and tilted my head, holding his stare over the rim of my glasses.

“I hated that she had friends.”

“And?” I drawled.

“I’m serious. I didn’t want her to have friends outside of me,” he explained, frustration bleeding into his voice. “Even though I knew it was wrong.”

I waited. Nothing about this scared me.

I understood the behaviour was objectively wrong. I just couldn’t bring myself to care. Instead, I found myself marvelling at how perfectly it worked for me. I didn’t have the energy to maintain friendships anyway.