Page 190 of When Love Takes Root

“I was wrong,” he said. My eyes burned. Kayden rubbed both hands over his hair and looked toward Jamal’s chair before he looked at me. “I know I was wrong. JJ already told me. Loudly.”

JJ didn’t blink. “And accurately.”

“Bro,” Kayden muttered. A tiny laugh moved through the room and eased the pressure just enough. Kayden’s mouth trembled. He pressed his lips together, swallowed, and tried again. “I like him.”

The confession came out rough, almost angry.

I stayed still.

“I do,” he said. “And that made me mad. Like, for real mad. Because how am I supposed to like somebody sitting at our table when Dad can’t sit there no more?”

The room went still.

His eyes filled fast, but he kept talking through it. “He’s cool. He fixed the stuff. He didn’t talk to us like we were dumb. He didn’t try to sit in Dad’s chair. He didn’t act weird when we talked about him. He listened to Zuri. He made Maya feel like she did something right. And I hated that I noticed all that.”

Maya’s eyes glossed over. Zuri lowered the block in her hand. Skye sat up all the way.

Kayden’s voice cracked. “It felt wrong. Like if I liked him, I was doing something dirty to Dad. Like I was letting another man in the house and saying Dad wasn’t enough. And I know that sounds stupid, but it didn’t feel stupid in my chest.”

I stood, but I didn’t rush him.

His shoulders shook once. “I got used to being the only guy here when JJ is gone. I know I’m not grown, but sometimes, it feels like I gotta be. If something breaks, I’m looking. If somebody knocks too loud, I’m listening. If you cry, I hear it. If the girls get scared, they look at me. My protector meter be turned up too high, and I don’t always know how to turn it down.”

“Oh, Kayden.”

He shook his head fast, tears sliding now. “I’m not making excuses. I was being a dick. I embarrassed you. I embarrassed myself. And I probably made him feel like trash when he didn’t deserve that.”

Skye slid off the couch first and crossed to him. She wrapped both arms around his waist and buried her face against his side.

“You’re not Dad,” she whispered. “You’re Kayden.”

Zuri came next, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “And you don’t gotta watch us all the time. We be watching you too.”

Maya stood slower, clutching her sketchbook to her chest. “I like him too. That doesn’t mean I love Daddy less.”

Kayden covered his face with one hand.

JJ’s voice came softer through the tablet. “Man, nobody’s asking you to be Dad. I’m not Dad either. We’re his sons. That’s enough.”

Kayden bent forward like those words had taken the last of his fight.

I crossed the room and pulled him into my arms. My tall, stubborn, hurting boy folded against me like his body had been waiting for permission to stop standing guard.

“You don’t have to be the man of this house,” I whispered. “You get to be my son. Do you hear me? You get to be seventeen. You get to grieve. You get to be mad. You get to miss your daddy. But you don’t get to use grief as permission to wound people.”

His arms tightened around me. “I’m sorry, Mama.”

“I forgive you.”

“I’m sorry for how I acted.”

“I believe you, baby.” I pulled back and touched his face. “But I’m not the only one you owe an apology to.”

He nodded, eyes wet and serious. “I know. I’ll make it right.”

JJ nodded once. “Good.”

Zuri crawled into my lap like she hadn’t outgrown it. Skye squeezed between me and Kayden because she had never respected personal space a day in her life. Maya came last, sketchbook still in her hand, and leaned against my side. The tablet sat on the coffee table with JJ watching us like he wished his arms could stretch through the screen.