Page 31 of Kingdom Of Veil And Vow

“She must have spoken of her reasons for not fighting back—”

“I’ll remind you that I was a fox to her. Not exactly a confidant,” I snap, abandoning my hair as I stand.

His dark brows lower over his eyes, the shadows cast from the nearby torch cutting a dark line over his cheek. “You’re all she had to talk to. Surely, she said something about her magic. About why she chose not to reveal it.”

“She didn’t. Not that I can recall, anyway.”

His laugh is abrupt. Menacing. He tosses the book to the ground, letting the satchel fall next to it. “What did she talk about in regards to her claim to the throne?”

“What?”

“She is the heir to this kingdom’s throne, and it was stolen from her by King Dolian. Surely, she harbored resentment about that.”

I shake my head, my mouth opening and then closing. He can’t be serious.

“Fine, tell me about how she used her magic.”

“She rarely did.”

“Princess Rhea is mage. Do you truly expect me to believe that she just acted as if there wasn’t magic coursing through her veins? That she willingly endured—”

“She was a prisoner!” I shout, throwing my arms out to the sides. “Enduring was her only option.”

“No,” he barks, stepping nearer. Close enough that I can see the thick lashes that frame his eyes and detect the scents of pine and mint. “She told you more than you’re sharing.”

I grit my teeth, scowling in his direction.

“When did she first mention having magic?”

“I don’t know,” I repeat, for what feels like the hundredth time. “It was a long time ago.”

“How do you not know?” he asks, bending at the hip until he’s at my eye level. “What were those first few weeks with her like? Did she conjure her magic often?”

“I don’t—” I turn my head, brows drawing in. Even if I wanted to answer his questions, I can’t remember.

“Bella, you can’t expect me to believe that you don’t know anything. Do you want the book or not?”

I glance back at him, unsure why tears have sprung to my eyes. I do want the book. Anything to help pass the time while Immie sleeps and I’m left alone with my own memories. But I can’t give him what he is asking for.

“When you first saw Rhea use her magic—”

“I don’t know!” I shout, my fingers digging into my hair as I step back from him. My heart races as I squeeze my eyes shut. “I told you, I was a fox—”

“And you were all the princess had—”

“Stop it.”

“Why did Princess Rhea hide her magic from the king? What did she tell you about her power?”

“I don’t know!” My scream echoes, hands cradling the sides of my head while air rushes out of my chest, making me feel as if it’s caving in. “I told you, shifters are not meant to be in one form for as long as I was. It begins to mess with you, twist your mind.” His expression shifts, anger to something else, but I turn away from him before I can decipher what. Sliding my hands down my cheeks, I quickly wipe away the tears that have fallen. “I’m not lying when I say I don’t remember. I can’t remember. Because for four years, I was trapped in my animal form. For four years, I slowly lost my mind and scrambled my memories until now, only bits and pieces of those first few weeks together bleed through.” I inhale deeply, my arms wrapping around my torso. “Rhea was a lifeline. She was my best friend, my sister who loved me unconditionally. But at the end of the day, I thought she was a mortal and she thought I was her pet, and while she only had me, it doesn’t mean that she told me everything. That I saw everything. You could never understand, so you might as well just let the king have his way with me because I cannot provide you with the answers to the questions you have.”

I wanted to remember my time with Rhea as something calm and wonderful and magical. And sometimes, it was those things. But more often, it was painful. Scary. Sad. Not because of her but because of the king and what he forced her to endure. What he made her become as she sat alone in that tower for the many years before I showed up. Even after my arrival, there was never a version of her that was carefree or unburdened. I did my best for her then, and I am doing it for her now, and like most things I have tried in my life, I am failing on all counts.

This is what you do, little kit. You take, and you expect not to have to give. You expect the world to bend to your will when you can’t even function on your own. This is why you will always need me and why, no matter where you go, I will always be in your head. Reminding you that without me, you are nothing.

With Kenji’s voice strong in my head, I nearly miss the soft way Xander breaks the silence between us. “I’m sorry.” Hands braced against the bars, the guard peers at me through concerned eyes when I turn, strands of his onyx hair framing his face. For all the anger that was just pouring from him, it has been wiped away now. Replaced with something that looks suspiciously like regret. But that can’t be true, not when I’ve all but admitted that I’m worthless to him. “I’m sorry,” he repeats, pursing his lips before righting himself. “I am frustrated but not with you, and I should not have pressed you so hard.”

Watching him, I force a shrug as I take a deep breath. “It’s fine.” Better he feels guilty over it if I mean to use him to escape, I tell myself, twisting the bottom of my tunic in my hands, my nail dragging over the thick hem.