Page 87 of Smoke Signals

He nods once. “Broken arm. Concussion. Could’ve been a hell of a lot worse.”

“And you?” I ask quietly. “You’re really okay?”

“I’m here,” he says. “The roof got soft and I almost went down, but Phoenix pulled me back.”

I hold his gaze, searching for anything he’s not saying.

After a second, he lifts his hand and brushes his thumb under my eye.

“It scared you,” he murmurs.

“Yeah,” I admit. "You didn't call."

He goes still. "I know. My phone was in my coat in the rig the whole time. I didn't think about it until we were back at the station and I saw your texts, and by then I was already in the truck." He sets the mug down. "I should’ve found a way.” His expression softens. “I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. “Okay. Just… don’t ever make me hear about you on the news like that again.”

A faint smile tugs at his mouth. “I’ll do my best.”

Alaska runs into the kitchen a second later and grabs his hand while she points toward the living room. Stellan crouches so he’s level with her.

“What is it?” he asks.

She grabs his fingers and pulls him toward the couch.

He glances back at me over his shoulder.

“I think I’m being summoned.”

“Good luck,” I say.

He laughs quietly and lets her drag him into the living room where she immediately starts explaining the doll situation through a combination of signs and dramatic pointing.

I stand in the kitchen doorway with my mug and watch them. The panic from last night feels farther away now.

Not gone, just quieter.

Stellan sits on the floor beside Alaska and nods seriously while she continues her explanation. Every once in a while he glances up and catches me watching.

He smiles each time.

And somewhere in the back of my mind I realize something I’ve been avoiding.

I can’t pretend him moving doesn’t matter anymore.

32

STELLAN

Two weeks pass after the fire before I finally work up the nerve to do this. The fire should have scared me away from big decisions. Instead, it did the opposite.

When that roof shifted under my boots and Phoenix grabbed my jacket, I didn’t think about the station. I didn’t think about the truck, the crew, or even the job I’ve spent my whole life chasing.

I thought about Hartley, about Alaska, about not getting to come home to them again.

That realization has been haunting me since.

So I bought the house. I signed the paperwork three days ago, and I still haven’t told Hartley.