Page 52 of When Ashes Fall

He didn’t hesitate before leaping onto Briar’s pants and climbing to her shoulder. Once there, its nearly black eyes remained on me as it settled against her. Unlike Briar, it was clearly fatter than when I last saw it.

“Are we going?” Briar asked, unable to keep the excitement from her voice.

Was Bertie right? Was the reason she looked so exhausted and more fragile because she’d been trapped here, or was something else going on?

I should have come back sooner, but then I would have only been a danger to her and everyone else. I should have told Dromon he could take her outside the castle and into town before I left, but that’s something I never could have let happen.

I hadn’t been stable enough to let her go without me there. Hopefully, some fresh air and time away from the castle would put color back into her cheeks.

“Yes,” I said.

Her grin lit her face, and her eyes sparkled. The beast exposed its belly again, desperate for rubs.

This woman had me wrapped around her finger, and I loathed it as much as I loved it.

She tried to tug her hand free of mine, but I retained it as I turned us toward the door. We were halfway across the kitchen when a sprite flew overhead, spraying water over us.

The others giggled as Zephyr darted out the door with a watering can in hand. My teeth clamped together as Briar laughed and wiped the droplets from her face.

Her reaction was so different than mine. I wanted to grab Zephyr by his feet and smash him into the ground for being an irritating prick, but she looked delighted.

There was a time when I would have been delighted too. When I was younger, I rejoiced in the pranks the sprites pulled and often tried to get them back, but that childish whimsy had ceased to exist.

As she stared at me, Briar’s smile slipped away and the twinkle faded from her eyes. I tried to let my ire go and bask in the laughter of the sprites, but now I was mad at myself for my reaction, the world, and everything taken from me.

Briar still experienced joy, but if she stayed here, would I take that from her?

I should set her free.

And send her where?

Nowhere would guarantee her safety, and I couldn’t set her free. Whether or not she deserved better than me, she was mine.

Tearing my gaze away from her, I led her across the kitchen. When she waved to the sprites, they all waved excitedly back.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Knox

When I finished saddling Magnazius, I led the large, bay stallion out of the stable. Briar stood by the cluster of roses that I assumed were stable boys. When she touched the deep red petals, they leaned toward her like they were seeking some energy she emitted.

“I used to hate roses,” she murmured.

“I remember. You don’t anymore?”

She caressed one last petal before lifting her head to look at me. “It’s impossible to hate them when you know what they are. I’d still gladly burn all my mother’s roses down, though.”

“And one day I will burn them and Marina down.”

She didn’t flinch or get upset about my promise to annihilate her mother. Instead, she focused her attention on the flowers again.

“They respond to you,” I said.

“There’s life in all plants. They respond to everyone who treats them with kindness and respect.”

I didn’t know how to treat the roses. I’d left it mostly up to the sprites, who kept the roses alive during my imprisonment in the harem, but I could never do for these roses what the sprites and Briar did.

I was a destroyer, not a nurturer.