Page 98 of A Tempest of Shadows

“When the wounds the ophidians inflicted on me healed, my father’s scars also returned to mix with the newly created ones. I don’t know why since the ophidians took a lot of my skin off… many times, but they came back. I can only assume they run so deep that they’re seared into me. They’re forever a part of me.”

I knew Ryker didn’t want them, but I couldn’t stop my tears from spilling over to trail down my cheeks. Lifting my hand, I went to wipe them away, but he did so first.

“It was centuries ago, Ellery. I’ve moved on since then.”

My lower lip trembled as I whispered, “That doesn’t make it better.”

“Maybe not, but time has a way of changing things, and life has a way of throwing little surprises at you that make it better. You’re one of those surprises.”

My eyes closed as love and self-hatred battered me. Would he say such things if he knew the truth about the Hooded Robber?

No, he wouldn’t.

CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE

Ellery

“My father thinks his money matters to me, but it doesn’t,” Ryker said. “I’ve told him I don’t care about his wealth. Besides, I have money and an estate of my own. It’s not as much as what he has, and I don’t care.

“When my mother died, she bequeathed her estate and all her money to me. Leo held it in trust until I fully aged and could collect my inheritance. Her estate is far from here, on the other side of the realm, but I visit at least twice a year to check in with the property manager and see how things are going. I’m due to go again soon.”

“Why didn’t you go to live there after the war if you hate it here so much?”

“I had every intention of going to live there when I went to claim the land from Leo, but when he saw how much I’d grown since I last saw him five years ago, and knowing I was a lightning bearer, he asked me to join his army. Knowing it would piss off my father, I agreed.

“Moving to my mother’s property would have gotten me away from my father, but he still would have tried to make my life miserable. By joining Leo’s army, I was away from him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

“So, I went into training and got better and better as the months and years progressed. I moved rapidly up the ranks, and within five years, I was a general and the king’s right-hand man. Over time, Leo became my friend, but more than that, he was the good, kindhearted father figure I’d lacked in life.

“I found a home amongst his army and with him. Because of my status as the son of the only duke left in the realm, Leo offered me a room in the palace when I first arrived, but I chose to stay in the barracks with the other troops.

“As I moved up the ranks, I separated myself from the lower-level soldiers more, but all lieutenants, captains, colonels, majors, and generals move away from the privates as they progress upward. I had to distance myself from them to make the commands necessary to win a war.

“It’s difficult to send fellow soldiers into a battle they might not return from; it’s even harder to command your friends to run toward their possible deaths. No matter what you do to distance yourself, all the lives lost due to your commands are never forgotten.”

That was one more reason my heart ached for him. He’d seen and endured so much, and I knew those lives haunted his dreams.

We’d only slept together on those nights when he stayed at my manor, but I’d heard him talk in his sleep, seen him thrash against the blankets, and watched him wake with horror in his eyes. I didn’t have to ask; I knew his past haunted him, and I was there to soothe the ragged edges of his pain when he drew me into his arms.

“You did what was necessary to save us from the ghouls,” I told him.

“I know, but that doesn’t make it better.”

“Would you go to live at your mother’s estate now that King Leonidas is dead?”

He contemplated this before replying. “Maybe one day, but not now. I promised Leo I would look after this land, and I will find a way to do so.”

I bent to kiss his shoulder and then his lips; he had a way of making me fall more in love with him. “I’ll help you.”

He slid his hand around to the back of my head as his eyes held mine. “I’m going to protect you, Ellery.”

Frustration mounted in me; he didn’t know I could wield lightning too or that I was one of the strongest amsirah ever to walk the realm, if not the strongest since I could control all the weathers.

And he can’t know because if you tell him, he’ll also know you’re the Hooded Robber.

Maybe it’s time to tell him.

It wasn’t the first time I’d considered it, but I’d stopped being frightened that he’d kill me over it. He wouldn’t. I didn’t know if he loved me like I did him, but he wouldn’t kill me; of that, I was certain.