Page 58 of Insidious

“I’m not—” He shakes his head quickly. “I want to be here. I have to be here.”

Desperation bleeds from every word.

I nod once, like I’m acknowledging a colleague.

“Right.”

He waits, still too afraid to say it or name it.

So, I do it for him—just not the way he expects.

“It’s not all your fault, you know.”

The words hang between us as I watch him try to guess where I am headed.

“Not … totally,” I add, because honesty feels easier when it’s stripped of emotion. “You didn’t know how to deal with me. I get that.” I glance down at my hands again. “And I didn’t know how to ask for help.”

“That’s not true.”

The force in his voice makes my fingers tighten.

“This—this is all on me, Luna. All of it. My fault.”

I don’t respond to that because I don’t have the energy to argue.

Or to comfort him.

Or to absolve him.

I let the silence hum between us.

Then, because there are still practical things that matter—things that seem safer than feelings—I ask, “What have you told them at work?”

He blinks, thrown that I’ve started talking about work.

“What?”

“At work.” I keep my tone neutral while my heart is suddenly trying to beat its way out of my chest. “Did you tell them? That I tried to off myself?”

“No, no.” He shakes his head quickly. “I wouldn’t. I just said you had some complications from the C-section and … that I needed to take some time off.”

I nod.

“That’s good. You should go back to working onsite. It will be easier for both of us. You don’t have to see me, and I don’t have to see your lying, cheating face.”

His face shifts at that. Pain flashes through it. Unexpectedly hurting him does not make me feel any better.

“I’m not leaving you.”

“You should,” I repeat quietly. “There’s no point in both of us being here. I won’t try again.”

He goes pale at that and starts to sway. Then, he opens his mouth, but I don’t let him interrupt.

“I appreciate you not telling them. At work, I mean,” I add. “I don’t want people looking at me like that. I don’t want them talking behind my back.”

“She is a bit unstable. Always was a bit off.”

“She is coming. Hush.”