Page 57 of Contracted to the Bikers

Jessy wrinkles her nose at him. “You collect toys?” she says disbelievingly.

Rook nods. “Take a look.” He points at the box.

Jessy shuffles forward, curiosity making her brave enough to leave my arms for a moment. I can’t hold back the slight smirk when I see what she pulls out of the box. Rook has a collection of WWE wrestling memorabilia, mostly figurines, as well as belts, badges, and other items.

“What are they?” Jessy asks, frowning.

Rook takes a beat to absorb the fact that she’s too young to recognize wrestlers before answering. “There’s a kind of sports show on TV with wrestlers. It was really big when I was a kid. These wrestlers were big, strong men, and they would fight bad guys.”

“Like you?” she asks, wide-eyed.

He smiles softly. “A little. But when I was a kid, I was skinny and small, the shortest in my class. I got picked on a lot by the bigger kids. I used to watch wrestling and collect memorabilia, hoping that one day I’d grow up to be big and strong enough to beat the bad guys. My dad left when I was young, and my mom wasn’t able to be around as much as yours, so I felt all alone. Wrestling made me feel a little bit less alone.”

I’m surprised to hear that about Rook. I can’t imagine him being a small, lonely, bullied kid. It explains a lot about why he holds on to control so tightly now, why he’s so set on being brave and macho. The big, strong man.

“Why did you keep them once you growed up?” Jessy asks.

“Because they remind me that I don’t need to feel that way anymore, and because I like them, even if I’m a little bit too old. Why did you collect your dinosaurs?”

Jessy doesn’t take long to consider this. “Because they’re cool, and they’re strong, even the biggest, baddest men couldn’t beat a dinosaur. But they’re all gone, and these ones are just toys. They can’t help me,” she adds, shoulders slumped.

“You’re right, they are just toys, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy them. And as for keeping you safe, that’s what Cruz, Boone, and I, your mom, are for.”

“You’re meant to look after mom, too,” Jessy says.

Rook nods. “That’s right, and we will. But your mom also looks after us all, too. She might not be physically big and strong, but she’s strong in different ways. She’s going to beat the bad guys using her brain. Just like how the Velociraptor wasn’t the biggest dinosaur, but it was still super deadly because it was so smart.”

Jessy smiles, a big, genuine smile. She throws her arms around Rook and hugs him, the first proper one she’s ever given him. “Thank you, Daddy Rook.”

He looks surprised but happy, hugging her back. She rushes over to hug Cruz, thanking him and making him promise to teach her tomorrow. “Only if you tidy up now,” he tells her.

“I will, but I need to go and apologize to Boone first.”

She rushes to Boone’s room, and I follow behind. Before I can reach her, she bursts in without knocking. “Daddy Boone, I’m sorry I was mean and told you to go away,” she says, the words tumbling out in a rush. He’s sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, cross-legged, eyes closed. Soothing sounds of birds and running water play from the speakers. She runs at him, throwing her arms around his neck, disturbing the peace.

He opens his eyes slowly and smiles softly at her, hugging her back. “That’s okay, kiddo.” I understand that big emotions can get overwhelming sometimes. Especially when we’re confused or scared.”

“You probably never get scared,” she says.

He shakes his head. “I get scared all the time. Angry too. I’ve just learned how to calm down and make myself feel better.”

“Like Cruz?”

He chuckles slightly. “Not in the same way as Cruz, no.”

She scrunches her nose, realizing only now that he’s sitting cross-legged on the floor in semi-darkness. “What are you doing on the floor?”

“I’m meditating, it’s how I stay calm. Want to try? Mom can too,” he adds, winking at me.

Jessy beams and nods, so I reluctantly sit down too.

“Alright, first you need to find a comfortable seat, and then close your eyes and try to empty your mind. If a thought comes to you, that’s okay, but then let it breeze past you like the wind. Just focus on breathing in and out, slowly and steadily.” Boone continues to talk us through a mini meditation session, and I’m surprised to find that it actually does help a little to calm me down.

Jessy starts to fidget, so Boone tells us to open our eyes. “I think that’s enough for today. Better?” he asks her.

She nods, uncertain. “A little. I still thought stuff, though, it’s hard not to.”

“It gets easier with practice.” He assures her with a smile.