Page 26 of Scarred

No guilt or fears.

Just silence.

Not the deafening silence I’m used to, but the silence you lean into.

Peace.

She guides me to a new position on my stomach called child’s pose, putting a bolster under my chest for comfort. Pressing on my lower back and hips, I groan into the deep stretch.

“That’s good, Cayden,” she encourages softly. “Breathe deep into that area. Each breath should feel like a release.”

Her hands feel like magic as she moves along my body. It’s like she’s breathing life back into me, little by little.

When she finally removes her hands, I’m already missing her touch. She has me turn over again on my back and puts me in a comfortable position with my hips open again, without the straps this time.

My eyes close on their own—my body feeling loose and relaxed.

“Stillness is more powerful than you know.” Her soothing voice washes over me as I sink further into the mat. “In silence, we get our loudest answers.”

And that’s the problem.

Because for the first time in a long time…

I don’t hate the quiet or feel like I’m drowning in it.

I feel like I can finally breathe without something sitting on my chest.

I don’t know if it’s the position…

the breathing…

or her.

My jaw tightens at the thought. I don’t want this or whatever the hell she’s pulling out of me, but as I lie here in the stillness she created…

I don’t want it to end either.

When she tells me I can open my eyes when I’m ready, everything slams back into place.

The room.

The heat.

Her body next to me.

She’s sitting close—watching me. There is no judgment in her eyes, just a quiet understanding.

She’s just…there.

Giving me a place where silence doesn’t hurt.

My body still feels relaxed, but my mind snaps back fast as sheer panic comes crashing down, wanting to grab hold of anything that keeps me grounded.

Control.

Distance.

Space.