Page 82 of Forced Proximity

But I have to stop. I keep setting myself up to get hurt, and it’s not healthy.

The following night, I sit outside to work on lines, but my mind refuses to absorb anything. I reread the conversation with Lexi from the previous evening, and the sting only moderately lifts. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me? At some point, I seriously need to entertain going back to therapy.

My phone rings, and my heart skips. Lexi? Nope. Just Zane FaceTiming.

‘Hey. Wanted to catch you up on some things.’ Zane’s breath comes out in spurts as they walk on a treadmill. ‘The studio is scheduling another press conference, but they want you all in New York for— Hey, you good? You don’t look like your gorgeous self.’

‘Yeah, I’m go— Shit. No. I’m not good.’

‘Oh dear.’ Zane pauses the treadmill and holds the phone to their face. ‘What’s going on?’

‘I’m pathetic. That’s what’s wrong. I can’t form stable, normal relationships. It’s such a joke.’ Are my parents to blame for this? Or was I born missing some chip in my brain? I run my hands through my hair and close my eyes, shifting further under the umbrella to block the last of the evening sun. ‘I have some serious, hardcore feelings for someone, but I keep misreading them, and it’s like I’m getting kicked in the balls every day.’

Zane takes a breath. ‘Doc, huh?’

‘I never said her.’

‘You’re insane if you think I haven’t noticed. You already told me a month ago you liked her.’

‘Liking someone and having serious feelings are two different things.’ Zane throws an irritated look my way and I give up. ‘Do you think she knows?’

‘You try and play it cool, but it’s obvious to me.’ Their lips turn up in a sympathetic smile. ‘And I can only assume it’s obvious to her too.’

I’m not surprised to hear this, but still, I hold on to a sliver of hope that Lexi is oblivious to exactly how deep my feelings run. Because if she knows how deep, how raw my feelings are and keeps avoiding the conversation, it can only mean one thing.

Sure, Lexi likes me. She obviously fucking likes me. The way we banter and laugh, the way she let me hold her, the way we eat dinner together like it’s the most natural thing in the world. But, for me … I don’t just like her.

I love her.

My heart pinches so hard I readjust my sitting position. ‘So that confirms it. She doesn’t have the same feelings for me, and I keep misinterpreting her friendship. It’s pathetic.’

‘It’s human.’ Zane steps off the treadmill and grabs a towel. ‘You’ve developed a closeness to Doc, that’s for sure. She even lets you use her first name.’

‘She does.’ My back sweats against the lounge chair, but I don’t want to move inside where Jack can overhear. ‘She probably just felt bad about everything with Conner and wanted to offer me something. She did it to be nice, and here I thought she was … well, I thought it was something else.’

‘Remember, this is her job—’

‘Trust me, I remember,’ I say flatly. ‘She tells me every goddamn time we get too personal.’

Zane props the phone on the counter and tugs off their tennis shoes. ‘But what if this is like how you are with your female co-stars while filming?’

Good point. I have a strict rule: no sleeping with the co-stars while filming. No matter how much we like each other. The one time it happened was a disaster, and I vowed to never repeat the mistake. ‘Yeah, that’s different, though. I want the best performance without all that stuff.’

‘Maybe she thinks the same?’ Zane says. ‘Maybe when all this shit’s over, there’s a chance?’

My chest lifts. ‘Do you think that’s possible?’ Hope brews beneath the surface. ‘That she doesn’t date people she works with? I mean, that makes sense, obviously. She won’t be working here forever.’

‘I think it’s more than possible. Doc and I have spent a ton of time together, and you’ve obviously grown on her.’

I tap my finger on the patio table. ‘Am I delusional? There’s something there, right? My junk can only take so much beating, and I’m not talking about the good kind.’

Zane giggles. ‘There’s the Justin I know and love. I don’t think you’re delusional. Go out on a limb. What do you have to lose?’

‘My pride and sanity?’

‘Overrated.’ They smile. ‘Good luck, my friend.’

I click off the phone, my thoughts racing. I could wait to tell her, hold back, bottle this up until the stupid stalker is caught. But what if she finds someone else in the meantime? What if I lose my chance because I don’t open up and she starts dating someone amazing, and they get married and have a million babies and I’ve ruined everything?