Page 65 of My Girlfriend is Not the Father

He had a point. But a few times, the relationship had felt … under pressure. Like a weighted blanket had inched over them, and not in a positive way. Jade sometimes seemed to tiptoe away, like she was eyeing their relationship from a close distance. She clammed up when talking or switched subjects to turn the spotlight on Lucy. Admittedly, Lucy had no idea what it was like to be divorced, and the trauma that may stem from ending an important relationship. But Jade refused to talk much about her ex, so Lucy stopped asking.

Maybe Jade held back at times, but Lucy wasn’t completely innocent, either. Giving so much of yourself was scary as heck. Even though Jade had reluctantly accepted a pregnant Lucy, what was going to happen when she wasn’t pregnant anymore? Would Jade want to be with Just Lucy?

Ugh. Lucy needed to stop the cyclone of thoughts. She took a sip of root beer and adjusted the car vents to lower the heat. ‘Whoa.’ She slapped Drew on the arm. That gurgly thump was not indigestion. It was a definite, miniature, hi-ya!-style kick. ‘Drew, holy cannoli … I think your baby just kicked.’

‘What!’ His hand whipped to her belly.

‘Dude! Wipe your hands. I have to go back to work and I don’t want greasy mitt stains everywhere.’

‘Sorry, sorry, oh my God.’ He slapped a napkin across his hands, then laid both palms on her belly.

Nothing.

His gaze flickered between Lucy’s eyes and her stomach. ‘Should I FaceTime Mason?’

‘I don’t think you have to whisper.’ Come on, little one. Give your dad a kick. Drew was not blinking, not breathing, and his heart was going to stop if this little guy didn’t do something. She poked the side of her belly but was met with nothing.

‘Can you make her do it again?’

The pleading in his voice was for the record books. ‘Her?’ Lucy raised her eyebrows. ‘Wishful thinking for next week’s ultrasound?’

‘I feel it in my bones. I just know it’s a girl.’ He jiggled her belly and waited. And waited some more.

She took another sip of ice-cold root beer. A few seconds later … pow!

‘Ah. Oh my God … I felt it.’ Drew’s hands pressed more firmly into her belly, his mouth frozen in an open-mouthed smile. ‘Oh shit, Luce. This is real. This is the realest of real.’

When Lucy was younger, she phased through a solid crush on Sigourney Weaver and snuck movies she had no business watching when her dad was at work. The scene in Aliens, where the beast ripped from the dude’s belly, didn’t quite feel like this. But it definitely felt like she’d swallowed a fish that was now moving around inside, banging into her belly aquarium walls.

Lucy’s body had morphed before her eyes. Her nipples were bigger, darker, her boobs were Eighties porn star status. Even her feet had grown a whole size. She’d expected change, of course, but not this much change.

After Drew guided her out of his vehicle and slung an elbow out for her to grip, he escorted her up the sidewalk to her building.

‘Do you think my vagina is going to get all mangled during childbirth?’

He scrunched his nose. ‘No! I mean, I guess, I don’t think so? Is that a common thing?’

Was it a common thing? Maybe, in this case, she should do a little research: will the boobs shrink, will the vagina return to a pre-push size, will the brain fog end? Will my girlfriend still want to be with me?

Enough.

She schlepped back into her office and shut the door, letting the moment flutter through her body. Today was a very, very big deal, and she wanted to celebrate with Jade.

She pulled out her phone.

Her dad answered. ‘Why are you calling during the workday?’

A smile crept across her face. ‘Hello to you, too.’

‘You know, back when I was working, you couldn’t just make personal calls whenever you saw fit.’

She eased herself into her chair. ‘Did you walk uphill both ways during the winter with Wonder Bread bags rubber-banded to your ankles so your socks didn’t get wet?’

A loud huff echoed through the receiver. ‘You think it’s funny, but that’s the original waterproof shoe and didn’t cost no more than the one-dollar loaf of bread it came with. Nowadays, you all spend a hundred dollars to get a decent snow boot. I didn’t even make a hundred dollars a week when I first started working.’ The sound of water filling a glass was followed by several gulps. ‘What do you need? I’m a busy man.’

‘God, you’re cantankerous.’ She tucked the phone under her chin and fired up her computer. ‘I want to take Jade out for dinner after work, but I don’t want to leave Chucky. Can you come over and watch him?’

‘You know dogs can be by themselves, right?’