Page 23 of My Girlfriend is Not the Father

‘No, not that.’ He leaned back against the counter, his soft cotton-tee stretching against his crossed muscular arms. ‘I worry we’re going to lose “our thing”. Since we were kids, it’s been Drew and Luce against the world. And now, all we talk about is, you know, lawyers and transfers and ovulation.’

She popped a cracker in her mouth and dusted off her hands. She’d been meaning to talk to him about Jade for a while now but stopped herself every time she started – which scared her. Lucy told Drew everything. Almost daily, she’d give an excruciating play-by-play of the tiniest interactions. Sometimes she’d snap her fingers near his face because his eyes had glazed over. But Jade, she’d kept to herself.

Lucy knew why. These sensations, the rush she felt when they spoke, the way she kept thinking about how the sun had highlighted the green speckles in Jade’s eyes during their non-date at the coffee shop, the smell of her citrus sage perfume – which Lucy had searched for at the mall a week later … She had feelings. She never had feelings. And she had no idea what to do with them.

‘We do have something to talk about besides the pending alien about to inhabit my belly.’ She busied herself digging out more crackers. ‘I sort of … met someone.’

Drew’s mouth dropped. ‘Met someone? Couch time.’ He pointed to the living room. ‘I’m grabbing root beers.’

She slumped down onto the sofa and Chucky burrowed into her feet. Like Chucky was a living sensory toy, she ran her fingers through his fur and massaged his ears, until her heartbeat calmed.

Drew returned and handed her the soda. ‘Spill the details.’

‘It’s not what you think at all. She’s a friend.’

‘You have lots of friends.’

Technically, she had lots of acquaintances. But she didn’t correct him. She popped the top and the fizzy bubbles burned down her throat as she took the first sip. Her legs seemed to have a mind of their own as she squirmed and shifted in her seat. ‘She’s really nice, funny, just moved here last year from Chicago. She owns Jade’s on 7th.’

Drew’s eyebrows scrunched. ‘The salon with the Pride flags?’

‘Yep.’ She tucked a leg under her butt. ‘Anyway, we met a few weeks ago for coffee and, uh, we chat occasionally.’

‘So just friends?’

Her face turned pink. Drew could for sure see right through her fake nonchalant nod.

Drew sat back and crossed his arms. ‘So, this friend …’ He cleared his throat. ‘What does she think about you getting knocked up in a few weeks?’

Lucy flicked at the top of the can with her finger. ‘I didn’t tell her.’

‘You haven’t told her.’ He cocked his head. ‘You meet a friend for the first time in forever, and you haven’t told her? Why not?’

Well, when he says it like that, in that tone … Maybe it sounded worse than what she originally thought. Lucy loved Drew. Loved. Obviously. But she wasn’t quite sure she wanted to open up to him fully about the thoughts swarming through her head these last few weeks. She’d never had these sparks before, and honestly, selfishly, wanted to hold them tight. They seemed fragile, delicate somehow, like cupping your hands around a candle in a windstorm, and hoping the flame remains.

How would Jade react if she told her? Think Lucy was some sort of holier-than-thou person who needed some praise? Maybe Jade would think it was gross, or weird, or that Lucy was ‘too much’. Or maybe … Jade would be supportive and kind and wonderful, and honestly, Lucy wouldn’t know what to do with any of these outcomes.

‘No. I still haven’t told anyone except my dad and my manager.’

He lowered his pop. ‘Seriously?’

She shrugged and resumed petting Chucky. ‘Yeah. I don’t need people all up in my business. Can you even imagine the amount of questions? And then they’ll ask how we conceived and when I tell them to shove it where the sun don’t shine, they’re going to think we screwed. Ewwwww.’ For a hot minute, she thought of telling people exactly how she would conceive, but that was almost as invasive as just letting them think she and one of the dads had humped. Curious about implantation, friends? Behind door number one we’ve got menstrual cycle matching, and hormones, and progesterone, and fallopian tube checks, and the mother of all plungers during a pap, and egg extraction, and …

‘People are definitely going to think we had sex. Gross.’ He gnarled his lip. ‘I mean, you’re not gross, but …’

‘I know. I get it.’

‘Are you ever going to tell her?’

She’d thought about it. Lucy and Jade messaged every night, mostly sharing work stories, or little anecdotes from their day. Jade had sent a few vegetarian recipes, and Lucy sent a picture of a half-eaten, surprisingly delicious vegetarian breakfast sandwich from Starbucks. But the last two times Jade had asked if she wanted to grab dinner or coffee, Lucy came up with a flimsy excuse. ‘I don’t know. I mean, if we keep hanging out, probably. She’s gonna notice when it looks like I swallowed a basketball and have two broken ankles.’

Drew set his can on the coffee table. ‘It’s your body, your choice.’

‘Damn right, per our signed legal document, thank you very much.’

‘What I mean is that it’s your choice to tell whomever you want, if you want, whenever you want. But you know once I announce it to my family, they’ll take out a billboard over 494, so she may find out eventually, anyway.’

She knew this was true. Drew’s family was not quiet. Stillwater was not a small town, but it wasn’t huge either. Word would get out, and Jade could find out from someone who wasn’t Lucy. Which … She should probably try and control the narrative. ‘You and Mason are still waiting for second trimester, right?’