Page 90 of Fit for a King

I bowed my head. “Of course, Your Royal Highness.”

When I looked up, Gabriel held my gaze for just a moment longer, and I thought I saw sympathy in his eyes, but I didn’t want that. Not from him or anyone.

I left the room and had made it halfway down the corridor before I realized I’d forgotten how to breathe. By the time I reached the servants’ stairs, the ache in my chest had sharpened into anger.

Good. It was easier to be angry. Better to help me get over my temporary lapse in sanity.

So I went looking for Violet.

Ever since my last interaction with Nicholas, I’d been running over our conversation. Front to back, top to bottom. What had I said? What had I done to make him totally freeze me out? I’d been telling myself it was just the way it had to be, and so he was finally taking the steps to distance himself, but this seemed more than that.

It was just so abrupt. So final. There had to be a reason, and the last person to see him before the arctic blast had been Violet.

I stormed down the hall toward the kitchen where the downstairs usually congregated between jobs, and when I walked into the dining hall I drew up short as Charlie, Violet, and Pierce looked in my direction.

“You need something, Bennett?” Charlie said, a smug curl to his lip that I was itching to punch off. I’d seen the sly looks he’d aimed my way whenever Reynolds or Pierce were called to attend the king in my place, and while he’d yet to say anything to my face, I knew he was talking behind my back.

“Violet,” I said, turning my attention away from him, knowing my patience was razor thin. “Can I please see you for a minute?”

She frowned but quickly finished off her drink and excused herself, getting to her feet.

I turned into the silverware room, and she stepped inside with a curious look on her face.

“Baxter has you in here today?”

“No.” Not that it was that difficult to imagine. It felt as though Baxter had been dreaming up jobs for me lately, and polishing all the silverware seemed like an apt punishment for my mere existence. “I wanted to ask you something, and this is as good a place as any.”

I shut the door, and she whirled around. “Is everything okay? Do you need help with⁠—”

“What did you say to him?” The words were out of my mouth and hanging in the air between us before I could think them through. This question had been festering inside me ever since I was dismissed from Nicholas’s service.

Violet cocked her head. “Say to…?”

“Nicholas? His Majesty. The king.” I started to pace the small room, running a hand through my hair. “You had to have said something to him that morning you found my glove.” I spun around to pin her with accusatory eyes. “What was it?”

“I already told you⁠—”

“There has to be more!”

She startled at my raised voice, and I couldn’t blame her. I sounded like a madman.

“Noah, I promise,” she said softly. “I didn’t say anything other than what I told you.”

I shook my head, almost maniacally, as she stepped forward. But I didn’t want her kindness, not when I felt as though I were falling apart.

“That’s not possible. It’s not. He wouldn’t just cut me off. He wouldn’t shut me out like this.” I dropped my head into my hands. “He wouldn’t be this…this…callous unless you said something.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing my tears not to fall, but it was too late. I could already feel them on my cheeks.

“Oh, Noah.” Violet reached for my arm and tugged it away. “I’m so sorry.”

My eyes stung as the tears came even harder, my shoulders trembling as all of the emotions I’d kept bottled up finally came pouring out—the pain, the loss, the heartache. I’d come untethered and felt as though I were floating through an empty void.

Violet reached for me, pulling me into a tight hug and offering up words of sympathy mixed with encouragement, but it was useless. Nothing was going to fix the hole Nicholas had left in my heart, certainly not taking it out on the one person who had always been there for me.

“I’m sorry,” I said when I could finally find my voice again.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Violet brushed a tear from my cheek and looked at me with a sad smile. “I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through right now.”