Page 48 of Fit for a King

“We.” He gently squeezed my arms. “We did this.”

“Yes,” I said, stepping out of his grip and finally gathering the nerve to turn. “We did. And we shouldn’t have.”

Nicholas’s brow furrowed. “Because of Alejandro?”

“For one.” I swallowed, willing myself to get out the words I knew I needed to say. “Another reason being who we are. No matter what you want or feel, you are the king and I am your servant. That will never change. It will only make this more painful in the long run.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but I held my hand up, something I’d never do under any other circumstance.

“Don’t say anything,” I said. “Don’t make it harder for me to walk out.”

Nicholas ran a hand through his disheveled hair, and never had he looked more handsome: lips swollen from our kisses, cheeks flushed from arousal, eyes dark with emotions.

“If this could be any other way…” I whispered as I took a final snapshot of him in my mind, then turned and walked to the door.

As I reached for the handle to leave, he said, “Noah?”

I stopped but didn’t dare turn. If I did, I’d never be able to leave.

“A prince among men,” he whispered. “That’s what you are.”

I swallowed as I gripped the handle. “But that’s still not enough. Goodnight, Your Majesty.”

16

NICHOLAS

IDREAMED OF Noah all night. My subconscious kept working through different scenarios that didn’t end with his walking away from me or my hearing the words “I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”

The problem with dreams was that no matter how good they were, eventually you woke up and had to face a cold, hard reality.

A reality where I was king, Noah was my footman, and I was going to marry another man.

I still couldn’t wrap my head around it, and my packed schedule today wasn’t going to allow much downtime for my thoughts to run wild over what I could’ve or should’ve done.

But I could still feel Noah’s lips when I closed my eyes, hear his soft gasps when I pulled him into my arms. He was never supposed to know about the switch, and seeing the fire that lit him up had been too intoxicating to resist. I’d had to touch him, kiss him, know what it was like to be with him, even if it was only for a handful of minutes.

That was all I had, all I could cling to. My last bit of free will spent on the man I could never have.

What I wouldn’t give to be anyone else.

I quickly showered and wrapped myself in a plush robe, and then headed into my dressing room to see what had been laid out for me—but I stopped short at the sight of Noah, his back to me as he moved around the room. My clothes for the day were already hanging by the full-length mirror, and he lifted the lid of my watch collection, took a moment to choose the one he wanted, then picked it up and carried it over to the bureau where the rest of my accessories were ready and waiting.

He hadn’t heard me enter, and for that I was grateful, because it meant I could take another selfish moment and just look at him.

He worked quickly, efficiently, exactly as the staff here at Montclair Palace were expected to, but that wasn’t what I noticed when I looked at Noah. Not anymore.

Instead, I saw the care that went into taming his thick, wavy hair so it still looked perfectly presentable but not overly polished. How lean and fit he was, with broad shoulders, from his years lifting and carrying and moving constantly. The careful way he held my watch, brushing his thumb over the gold band almost reverently before setting it down beside my cuff links just so.

Part of me wanted to continue watching, but I wanted to talk to him. It was always the best part of my day, the thing I looked forward to most. It was never enough, and God knew he probably wasn’t feeling the same way after last night, but I wanted to hear his voice—needed it, if I were going to get through the day.

“Good morning, Noah,” I said, moving into the room.

He straightened and spun around to face me, and I didn’t miss the quick once-over he gave me before bowing his head. “Good morning, Your Majesty.”

So polite, back to Your Majesty and not Nicholas, and though I’d expected it, I still didn’t like it. Not coming from Noah’s lips.

Which I absolutely was not looking at right then, wishing I could steal them in a good-morning kiss. And I was definitely not wondering what it would be like to wake up beside him and run my fingers through his hair before he was so put together.