Page 22 of Fit for a King

“Then I’ll leave you.”

I’d started to turn when I heard him say, “Why are you still awake?”

My feet froze. “I don’t sleep until you sleep, sir.”

His forehead creased as though he hadn’t expected that response, but surely he knew. I was his footman. I didn’t retire until he did.

“I see. Then I don’t suppose I have anyone to blame but myself when it comes to your wandering around so late.” He turned away, looking back out into the garden, and added softly, “I couldn’t sleep.”

I stood there for a moment, unsure of how to respond. It wasn’t my place to ask questions of him—he’d made that abundantly clear. But it was also obvious he was struggling tonight.

“Is something troubling you?”

His shoulders straightened. “I’m the king. I can’t afford to be troubled.”

I supposed that was true. But he was also human, and the last time I’d checked, that came with emotions. Emotions he was obviously feeling tonight, whether he wanted to admit them or not.

“Of course, sir. Are you feeling unwell, then? Can I bring you something to help you sleep?”

He turned his face to the side, not far enough to look back at me, but enough that I could see the strong outline of his perfect nose and angular jaw.

“Not unless it can erase the last four hours.”

The meeting with the de la Vegas. That’s what was troubling him. And why wouldn’t it? He’d barely stepped into the role of king, and now here he was, expected to step into the role of husband to someone hand-picked for him.

I couldn’t even begin to imagine how that must feel. To have your whole life planned out for you. To have everyone weighing in on what would be good for the country—including your love life.

It was one thing to serve the king; it was another to live your life in servitude to the crown.

“I can’t erase the last four hours, but I can find you some alcohol that might help you forget about them for a while.”

He slid his hands into his pockets and went back to looking out the beautiful glass enclosure we stood in—and while minutes ago I’d been admiring its beauty, I couldn’t help but compare it now to a cage of sorts.

“There’s not enough alcohol in the kingdom…” He let out a sigh. “It’s not that Alejandro is a terrible person, and it could be worse. I could be expected to marry a woman and produce an heir. But it’s all so fast. I haven’t even been coronated yet.”

I didn’t dare speak as words continued to fall from his mouth. This was the most he’d ever said in my presence without scolding me, and I didn’t want to say anything that might upset him further.

“I know what’s expected of me,” he said as he began to pace. “I’ve known my whole life. I’ve attended class after class to prepare me for this very moment, but can anyone ever be prepared to step into the role of king?”

He shook his head, and I wasn’t even sure he was aware I was still standing there as he continued on.

“Meeting after meeting I sit in, as if I didn’t just lose my father, as if I’ve had a chance to even shed a tear for him, and still everyone needs something more from me. I know they need a leader, that I’m expected to be that for them. But when do I get a chance to breathe? When do I get a chance to just stop and think for a minute?”

“You don’t,” I said before I thought better of it, and he stopped and jerked his head in my direction. Well, I was in it now. I took a step toward him and shrugged. “Like you said, you’re the king. The people expect a certain image of you. Courage, service, strength. Is it selfish to expect that from one man? Yes. But they expect it nonetheless.”

Nicholas’s eyes narrowed and I waited for the inevitable dismissal.

Instead, he angled his chin up a fraction and said, “And you? What do you expect?”

I could’ve lied. Could’ve told him I had no expectations. But the moment demanded more of me than that. Nicholas had just opened up and been more vulnerable than I ever expected him to be; the least I could do was be honest.

“I expect you to be a man.” I swallowed, waiting for him to silence me. But when he just stood there waiting, I continued. “I expect you to be a brother, a son. You’re a human being, Your Majesty. Even kings should be given a day to mourn.”

“Some might disagree with that.”

“That you deserve a day to mourn?”

“That I’m a human being.”