Page 100 of Lost & Found

“You’ve never felt that before?” Tori asked.

Heat rushed up my neck. “You know what? This was stupid. I shouldn’t have called.”

“Don’t you dare,” Tori snapped—lovingly but firmly. “Or I’m putting Marcel on the phone.”

That shut me up.

“You called for a reason. And I’m trying to tell you that what you’re feeling is normal, for fuck’s sake.”

I blinked. Tori never cursed.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“It’s okay. But listen to me.” Her tone shifted. “Everything you’re describing means you’re not damaged. Do you understand? Some women who went through what we did…they never feel safe enough for intimacy. Their bodies shut down. Yours isn’t.”

The words wrapped around my ribs.

“You don’t have to act on anything,” she continued. “Don’t rush, and certainly don’t do anything you don’t want to.”

“It’s not like that. I just don’t know what to do with all of this. I should be horrified, right? Right?”

“No,” they both said at once.

Tori sighed. “This is one of the areas Marcel keeps telling you to trust your instincts in. Let’s test something. What’s the groom’s name?”

I frowned at my reflection. “Huh? Chase. Why?”

“If Chase had done what Pasha just did—same tone, same moves—what would you have done?”

“Cut him,” I answered. “He’s getting married. I’d chop his dick off and personally deliver it to Lisa with a sympathy card.”

Tori laughed. “It was hypothetical.”

“Oh, right.”

“Please don’t cut Pasha’s dick off,” Kinsley chimed in. “I really want one of my daughters to marry one of his sons.”

“Hypothetically?” I asked dryly.

“No, really. I just have to agree to have one, and he has to agree to have one and—you know what I mean, Izzy B.” She sounded flustered now. “He should go first, though. Men should be older.”

“Not always,” Tori countered. “My next book is going to be reverse age gap. He’ll be the virgin.”

“I’d read that,” I muttered. Then I sagged against the counter. “But guys…what do I do now?”

“You’re going to put that bikini on,” Kinsley declared, “and knock Pasha’s socks off. But could you please send a picture?”

“I agree with Kinsley,” Tori said. “Put the bikini on. Wear your shorts and T-shirt over it for now. When you get down there, do what feels right. And Isabella…it’s okay to be attracted to him. That doesn’t mean you owe him anything. Just be honest. Be safe.”

There was a small pause before she added, “Do you love him?”

“Of course I do.”

Kinsley gasped so loudly that I had to pull the phone away from my ear.

“Not like that,” I rushed to clarify, even as my stomach flipped violently. “I love him because he’s…him. Not because I’m in love.”

Tori’s quiet laugh lingered in the background. I straightened my spine and studied my reflection again. She was right.