Page 87 of Love Unlocked

‘It’s so good to see you.’

‘Really?’ she asks, and he can see the relief, the hope.

‘Yes. Of course. I didn’t end things because I didn’t want to be with you, it was for the opposite reason.’

‘I know,’ she says, looking down at her hands, and he’s faced with the top of her head, not knowing how she’s feeling. ‘I’ve been working really hard over the past few months.’

‘DJing? Podcasting? Or are you back in the food truck?’ he asks, hoping she’s not back with Sam again.

‘No, not that kind of work. I mean, working on me.’

He shows his look of surprise.

‘I know. Shocking. I’m not running away from anything anymore, I’ve been trying to see everything through. I still can’t go in lifts but …’ she smiles a sad smile. ‘Al, when we met I was so sure of who I was, of what I wanted, and I didn’t question why.’

‘My intention wasn’t to make you question yourself. I loved that you knew your own mind.’

‘But I didn’t, I wasn’t being honest with myself.’

He frowns, searching her face. He has never seen her like this before.

‘After I broke Sam’s heart, I wanted to be alone because I was afraid to be with someone. I was afraid I couldn’t love them, I was afraid I would destroy somebody else. I thought that I would do that to everyone but what I know now is that he wasn’t right for me. That’s it. It doesn’t get more complicated. I don’t want to be alone all the time.’

Her voice catches. She wipes her eye with a trembling hand, and he has to reach out and hold it. She’s cold. He wants to warm her.

‘I thought that I didn’t have the capacity to commit to anyone or anything but that’s not true. Music has been my one true love since I was a child. I’ve never left it and it will be with me until the day I die. So I know that I can do it, I can commit to the things, and to the people I truly love,’ she says, swallowing. ‘I wish you hadn’t given up on me. It hurt me. I kind of fell to pieces after that, and slowly had to put myself together again.’

‘After me?’ he asks, surprised. Their goodbye had been gentle, awkward but easy. She had smiled and waved him off, and he’d watched her cross the road, wishing she’d told him he was wrong, wishing she wanted them to be more. But she hadn’t.

‘I cried a lot.’

He grips her hands tighter, surprised by this. She said she wasn’t a crier. ‘I’m sorry. I had no idea you even cared.’

‘Come on, you knew I cared.’

Yes, he did know that. It had been special.

‘I didn’t want to get hurt again,’ he says. ‘Melody, you saw me, I wasn’t in a good place.’

‘I know. I understand. I did understand then.’

‘Why didn’t you say anything? You just let me talk.’

She shrugs. ‘I just wasn’t able to get myself to a place where I could tell you how I felt.’

His heart races. And how does she feel now?

‘I’ve spent some time with my dad.’

He makes an eek face and she laughs.

‘It was eye-opening because I didn’t learn much.’

Al laughs.

‘Apart from one important thing. I’m not him. I’m my own complicated self and that’s good enough for me. It’s a relief in fact.

Melody looks at her hands in his. She presses her palms against his, marvels again at the difference in size. She runs her fingers over his, brushes his palm with her thumb, sending shivers running through him.